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UNTIL 

SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN 


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UNTIL SEVENTY 
TIMES SEVEN 

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NEW YORK 
THOMAS WHITTAKER 
2 AND J BIBLE HOUSE 


THE LIBRARY OF 
CONGRESS. 

Two Copie» Recoivod 

APR 6 1903 

Copyright Entry 
CLASS Ou ^XXo. No 
COPY B. 


Copyright, 1903, 

By Thomas Whittaker 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


CHAPTER I 

The Friday afternoon service was just 
over in the little church in Cloverfield, 
and several members of the congregation 
were lingering for a word or two with 
their rector. He appeared in due time, 
and passed from one to the other, asking 
after this one’s rheumatism, another’s sick 
mother, and a third person’s absent son 
listening to the answers with a quiet 
sympathy that showed how deeply he was 
interested in his people’s joys and sorrows. 

“Ah, Mrs. Doane,” he said at length, 
“ and how is your mother ? ” 

“ She is very comfortable,” answered a 
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middle aged lady, who with her daughter 
was among the last to leave the church. “ I 
waited to ask you, Mr. Lincoln,” she con- 
tinued, as they walked down the path 
towards the gate, ‘‘if you would dine with 
us to-morrow night. My nephew is com- 
ing from the city, and would enjoy seeing 
you again, I know.” 

“ Thank you, Mrs. Doane,” he replied, 
courteously, “ I shall be very happy to do 
so.” 

As he spoke his eyes involuntarily 
sought those of the younger woman. She 
was one, who if once seen would be al- 
ways remembered, tall and graceful, with 
regular features, but her greatest charm 
was a calm, sweet expression that gave a 
sense of repose and confidence to all who 
spent any time in her presence. Sylvia 
Doane was a rare woman, and it was not 
strange that the rector of a small country 
parish should find her the most congenial 
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person in liis little world. She met his 
gaze with a look of satisfaction, and a 
smile which to many a man would have 
been a welcome sight. But the effect 
upon Mr. Lincoln was unprecedented. He 
colored, looked confused, and murmuring 
a few words of excuse withdrew to speak 
to some one else. 

One duty followed another that after- 
noon. His solitary supper was hastily 
swallowed, a sick person had to be visited, 
then came a consultation with the choir- 
leader, but at last he was alone in his 
study, secured by a bolted door from 
further invasions. 

“How I will fight it out,” he said to 
himself, and as a preparation for the con- 
flict, he knelt down by the writing-table. 
He was a man of thirty-six years of age, 
but looked older ; the gray hairs and the 
line on his face gave the impression of 
greater age. It was not an intellectual 
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face ; Herbert Lincoln was not a man of 
great gifts ; those who were most attached 
to him never called his preaching brilliant, 
but such as were really in earnest said it 
was helpful and they came to him with 
their troubles and difficulties. That he 
had a great burden to bear was evident at 
that moment. No words passed his lips, 
but his attitude showed that his devotions 
were not perfunctory. After a long inter- 
val he rose with the calmness of one who 
has reached a decision. He drew a sheet 
of paper towards him and wrote the fol- 
lowing note : 

‘‘ Dear Felix : 

“ Can you stop in a minute to-morrow 
before you start out on your rounds ? I 
have something special to say to you. 

“ Yours, 

» H. C. L.” 

This he addressed to Dr. Felix Johnson, 
Cloverfield, and on leaving the study, 
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handed it to the maid with directions that 
it should be taken to the doctor the first 
thing the next morning. 

Mr. Lincoln was just finishing breakfast 
when Dr. Johnson arrived. There were 
those in Cloverfield who wondered at the 
friendship between the two men which 
could hardly be accounted for by the fact 
that the doctor had known the rector be- 
fore he came there. The former was an 
avowed materialist, and inclined to take 
harsh, cynical views of human nature. He 
was an excellent physician, but a little 
wanting in sympathy with his patients, 
viewing them principally as interesting 
cases. He was alone in the world and 
had made no close friends except Mr. Lin- 
coln, to whom he showed a side of his 
character which was generally concealed 
from the rest of mankind. 

“ I won’t keep you long,” the rector 
said ; “ come into the study a moment.” 

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“ I can wait until you have finished 
your breakfast,” answered the doctor, 
“ for I know that if you leave the table 
now, you will not come back. Take that 
other chop. You must not keep Lent be- 
fore it comes.” 

Mr. Lincoln smiled. 

“I never fast enough to hurt me,” he 
said. “I can stand a good deal. But 
tell me about Sarah Jones while I finish 
this.” 

The doctor gave him a condensed state- 
ment of the condition and needs of a poor 
woman who was dying of cancer, and the 
rector by two or three skilful questions 
drew from him an admission of the help 
he had given her and the plans he had 
made for her comfort. “Ah, Fee,” he 
said with a smile, “I wish the world in 
general knew you as well as I do.” 

“ That wish may be kindly meant,” said 
the doctor, “ but I cannot say amen to it. 

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I think it would be intolerable to have all 
the world acquainted with one’s whole 
life and one’s true self.” 

Mr. Lincoln sighed and led the way to 
the study. When the door was closed he 
said, 

“ You go to the Doanes’ every day, 
don’t you ? ” 

“ I shall go to-day. Can I do anything 
for you ? ” 

The clergyman walked to the window, 
and looked out. 

“ Yes,” he said, without turning around, 
“I wish you would tell Mrs. Doane and 
Miss Sylvia my history.” 

The doctor gave a low whistle. 

“If you are not willing, I will do it 
myself,” Mr. Lincoln said on receiving no 
other answer. 

“You know I would do a great deal 
more than that to save you one moment’s 
pain,” said the doctor. “ Do you wish me 
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to wait for an opportunity, or to make 
one ? ” 

“ I want you to do it to-day if possible ; ” 
then after a moment’s hesitation, he con- 
tinued, ‘‘you had better say I asked you 
to. Put it on the ground of their kind- 
ness to me; they have been such good 
friends that I should like to have them 
know, but do not feel like speaking of it 
myself. Mrs. Doane may think I ought to 
have told them before this. I sometimes 
think I have been wrong in concealing it 

at all, but ” he broke off suddenly, 

and walked to the other side of the room. 

“I expect to dine there to-night,” he 
added ; “ so I should like to have you tell 
them to-day.” 

“Very well, I shall go before luncheon, 
and if you do not hear from me, you may 
know that I have accomplished it. If I 
do not see either of the ladies, I will 
let you know.” 


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With those words the doctor took his 
leave, and the clergyman sat down to his 
desk, and with a great effort, turned his 
attention to the end of his sermon. 

Dr. Johnson arrived at the handsome 
house on the hill at about eleven o’clock. 
His professional visit was paid to old Mrs. 
Graham, Mrs. Doane’s mother, who, al- 
though not dangerously ill, required con- 
stant treatment. Mrs. Doane was present, 
and as soon as the regular interview was 
over, the doctor asked if he could have 
a few minutes’ private conversation with 
her. They retired to another room and he 
dashed at once into the heart of his subject. 

“ Mr. Lincoln asked me this morning to 
tell you something connected with his 
past life. He says you have been so kind 
to him that he does not like to feel 
that you are ignorant of his history, but it 
is a painful subject, and he cannot bear 
allusions to it.” 


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Mrs. Doane took up her knitting and 
prepared to listen. 

“ Did you know that he was married ? ” 

‘‘No indeed,” was the astonished an- 
swer. 

“Well it is a fact. He was married 
about eight years ago, and his wife left 
him three years later, to go on the stage. 
I believe she studied in Paris. She was 
only twenty at the time of the marriage, 
and soon grew tired of their simple way 
of life. She had been brought up by rich 
relatives and, though poor herself, was 
accustomed to more luxury than he could 
give her. Then she became interested in 
some amateur theatricals and imagined 
that she had a talent for acting. Of 
course he did not approve of her taking 
part in the little plays that this dramatic 
society gave, and she resented his dis- 
approval. He was deeply attached to 
her, but he was not as patient as he is 
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now, and perhaps was not always wise in 
the way he stated his objections, and 
so at last she left him without any 
warning.” 

“ Where is she now ? ” asked Mrs. 
Doane. 

“ He does not know,” answered the 
doctor. “He has been making her an 
allowance all this time through a lawyer, 
but about a year ago she ceased to draw 
it. He made some effort to trace her, but 
was not successful.” 

“ Perhaps she is dead,” suggested Mrs. 
Doane. 

“ I fear it is worse than that. In the 
course of the correspondence that took 
place when the arrangements were made 
about the allowance, she had grace enough 
to volunteer a promise to provide some 
way by which he might know of her death 
if it should take place. I wish with all 
my heart that he was free from her, and 
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it seems to me that this silence on her part 
may point to something, which would give 
him a cause for a divorce that would sat- 
isfy even his scrupulous soul.” 

‘‘ It is all very sad,” said Mrs. Doane. 
“ But I must confess that I cannot think 
that Mr. Lincoln has acted quite fairly in 
concealing this from us all. Does any one 
know it here ? ” 

“All the members of the vestry; and 
the bishop was told when he came here. 
I think he has had his doubts at times as 
to the wisdom of his course, but it is hard 
for a man of his character to be the sub- 
ject of talk and speculation.” 

“I see. I am very sorry for him. I 
suppose I may tell my daughter.” 

“ If you wish,” replied the doctor, “ but 
I think he would prefer not to have it go 
any farther. Good-morning.” 

After luncheon Mrs. Doane told her 
daughter the story she had heard that 
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morning. She watched her closely as she 
spoke but could detect no signs of special 
feeling. Sylvia expressed sympathy, as 
she probably would have done in any case, 
and then went about her little duties as 
usual. Her greeting to Mr. Lincoln when 
he arrived was apparently much as usual, 
and as the dinner was a small one, there 
was no opportunity for tete-a-tetes, and no 
one tried to make any. 

Mr. Lincoln thought that Mrs. Doane 
was a trifle cold in her manner towards 
him, at first, but as the evening went on 
she became her old kind self again and 
bade him good-bye as kindly as usual. 

Lent began the following week, and 
Sylvia was as regular as ever in her 
church-going. Sometimes a few words 
passed between her and the rector, but 
they were always of the most common- 
place kind ; no one noticed any constraint 
in their intercourse. The rector found 
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plenty of occupation and seemed his usual 
self, and neither his friend nor Sylvia’s 
mother could detect any cause for anxiety 
about either. 


14 


CHAPTER II 


The regular March storm was at its 
height. Wind and rain combined to make 
it a dreary night, and Mr. Lincoln felt 
thankful that he knew of nothing to take 
him from his study fire. Just as he was 
preparing to enjoy the blaze and a new 
magazine, conscious of having fulfilled all 
known duties, having even written a por- 
tion of his sermon for the coming Sunday, 
he heard a ring at the door and a moment 
later the doctor stood before him. 

“ Have you come for a chat this stormy 
night. Fee?” he said with a smile, and 
then as he noticed the expression of the 
other’s face, his own changed suddenly, 
and he asked quickly, 

“ Has anything happened ? ” 

‘‘Yes, something very important for 
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you,’^ said the doctor, laying his hand on 
his friend’s shoulder. Then in a lower tone 
he continued, “ I was called half an hour 
ago to see a poor woman whom the Ham- 
monds had found unconscious on the road- 
side near their cottage. She revived some- 
what, but would not give any account of 
herself. However, in looking through her 
belongings for some clue we found this 
letter.” He handed an envelope to the 
rector, which bore this superscription : 

If I do not live to reach the end of 
my journey, will some kind person please 
send this at once to the Hev. Herbert Lin- 
coln, Cloverfieldi” 

“It is Kittie, then,” Mr. Lincoln said, af- 
ter one glance at the envelope. “ I will 
come at once.” 

“ No, no, wait a minute, I must tell you 
something else. She had a little child 
with her, an infant girl not more than 
three months old, I should think. I am 
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sure it is her own, and so if you are pru- 
dent you may be able to get your divorce 
at last. Don’t do anything rash. At 
least read that letter.” 

The rector opened it hastily and read as 
follows, 


“ Heebeet, 

“ I am on my way to your home to 
make it as easy as possible for you to free 
yourself from me, but I feel so ill I fear I 
may not live to reach you. I write this 
that if anything happens you may hear it 
at once and come to be sure that I am 
really out of your way. I have no right to 
ask anything of you, but for the sake of 
that religion which you profess I implore 
you to see that my child is cared for. She 
has of course no claim upon you, and I do 
not even ask you to see her, onl}^ put her 
in good hands and never let her know who 
her unhappy mother was. Give her any 
name you wish. I do not care. I hope 
you may some day find a woman who is 
worthy of you, who will make you forget 
the pain I have given you. 

“Kittie.” 

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“ She shall come here,” Mr. Lincoln said 
as he finished reading the letter. 

“ Herbert, are you mad ! ” exclaimed 
the doctor. 

“ Ho, I know all you would say, but it 
makes no difference. If she recovers we 
can judge what is best to be done, and if 

she has come back to die ” he could 

not finish the sentence. 

“ Well, you know your own affairs best. 
What about the child ? ” 

“ Of course it must come too,” he said 
in a low tone ; “ does it seem healthy ? ” 

“ As far as I can judge,” said the doctor ; 
more’s the pity,” he muttered to himself. 
“ How,” said the clergyman in his usual 
tone, ‘‘ if you will arrange to bring her 
here, I will speak to Ursula about pre- 
paring a room for her.” 

“ Let me do that,” said Felix, and the 
other made no objection. “ She knew her, 
did she not ? ” 


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“Yes, and she will be good to her. 
There will not be the least trouble with 
her.” 

However the friends might differ when 
discussing the matter in private, no trace 
of the doctor’s disapproval appeared when 
he laid the matter before the old servant, 
who was both housekeeper and cook at 
the rectory. Old Ursula, who had known 
Mr. Lincoln from boyhood, was at first 
inclined to object, but yielded to the in- 
evitable, and by the time the doctor car- 
ried in a slight, wasted figure, was pre- 
pared to do all in her power for the poor 
woman whom she remembered so well in 
all the freshness and beauty of her girl- 
hood. The most comfortable bedroom had 
been prepared for her by Ursula and her 
underling, Martha, who had been told that 
the newcomer was a poor woman in whom 
Mr. Lincoln took special interest. The 
same explanation was given to the Ham- 
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monels, as the doctor thought it best to 
keep the secret for a while if possible. 
The woman was nearly starved and ut- 
terly exhausted, but no organic disease 
could be detected, and the doctor felt 
confident that she would soon revive 
under kind and careful treatment. Alas, 
he could not wish it, and hoped for the 
sake of all concerned that Death might 
yet solve the problem. She was too weak 
to notice what was being done with her, 
and as soon as she was in bed she fell 
asleep with her baby beside her. Mr. 
Lincoln was watching at the foot of the 
stairs for the doctor and asked eagerly. 
How is she ? ” 

“She is asleep; she does not know 
where she is; I do not think she recog- 
nized me. Don’t go now,” as Herbert 
would have passed him, “ she might wake 
suddenly and be overcome at the sight of 
you.” 


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“ What do you think of her condition ? ” 

“ I cannot at present see any reason why 
I should not save her; but it is hard to 
speak positively.” 

“Evidently she thinks she is dying,” 
said Mr. Lincoln. 

“ Yes, but that is probably the result of 
weakness. Be careful, and do not commit 
yourself to anything.” 

Herbert made no reply. He could not 
wish for her life, and yet the thought of 
her death was most painful to him. 

After a long silence the doctor said 
good-night and the rector went back to 
his study. It was late before he went up- 
stairs, and as he listened at the door of 
the sick-room, he heard nothing, and con- 
cluded that all was well. 

The next morning, as he sat over his 
breakfast, old Ursula came in, closing the 
door behind her. 

“Mr. Herbert,” she said, returning to the 
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long since discarded form of address, “ she 
is awake and she knew me.” 

“ Did she ask any questions ? ” 

“She only said, ‘Why this is Ursula,’ 
and I said, ‘ yes,’ and she asked, ‘ where is 
Mr. Lincoln?’ I said, ‘not far off,’ and 
she seemed upset ; so I petted her a little, 
and she got quieter.” 

“ Did she ask to see me ? ” 

“ No, I think she is a little afraid. You 
had better not go yet.” 

Mr. Lincoln tried to finish his breakfast, 
knowing that he had need of all his 
strength. 

Presently the doctor came and after a 
few words in the study went to see the 
patient. 

“ She is much better,” he reported on 
his return ; “ she knew me and asked after 
you. I still think you had better not have 
any communication with her, but if you 
are determined, the best plan will be for 
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you to go pretty soon and get it over. 
She is evidently nervous about seeing you. 
If you take my advice you will decide not 
to see her at all and let me tell her so. 
That I think will relieve her mind.” 

“ I cannot agree with you,” said Her- 
bert ; “ I cannot feel that it would be 
right for me to turn her away. If when 
she recovers, she wishes for a separation, 
we will see what is best. But now my 
course is clear ; I have a duty to her, I feel 
it.” 

Then as the doctor shrugged his shoul- 
ders, he laid his hand on his arm and said, 

‘‘ Come now. Fee, you often say that we 
Christians do not really follow the teach- 
ings and example of our Master. Hon- 
estly, under these circumstances, what do 
you think Jesus Christ would have 
done ? ” 

I do not know,” said the doctor. 

“ Oh, yes, you do. You know perfectly 
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well. He would have forgiven her and 
given her another chance. He would 
have made every effort to win that poor 
soul, and I, her husband, if I am really 
following Him must be willing to sacrifice 
my feelings, and if need be, my worldly 
advancement for that object.” 

The doctor grasped his hand, unable to 
speak, and seizing his hat hastened from 
the house. 

Herbert went again into the study for a 
few moments, and then ascended the stairs 
and knocked at the door of the sick-room. 
Ursula opened it, and at a sign from him, 
allowed him to pass in. 

The woman who lay with closed eyes 
might well have been called a perfect 
wreck. Any beauty she might have pos- 
sessed when younger had entirely van- 
ished, her fair hair was brushed straight 
back from her wan face, and it was hard 
to realize that a few years before she had 
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been considered the prettiest girl in a 
large suburban town and that she was 
now only twenty -eight years old. Her- 
bert stood looking at her, trying to trace 
some resemblance to the beautiful young 
wife who had found the country rectory 
too dull and tedious. At last some con- 
sciousness of his presence made her open 
her eyes, and she gave a slight exclama- 
tion. 

“Yes, it is I, Kittie; never mind, there 
is nothing that need trouble you,’’ for a 
look of terror was in her eyes. 

“ Do you know what I am ? ” she said 
faintly. 

“ I have read your letter,” he answered. 
“ I understand. Do not be anxious.” He 
spoke as if to a frightened child, for he 
saw how she was trembling. After an in- 
stant she gasped out, “ Baby.” 

“ She is here,” he said quietly ; “ she shall 
be cared for. Just now all you need do is 
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to lie still and take what is given you. 
We all want to make you comfortable, 
and when you are stronger we will decide 
what will be best for you both.” 

He laid his hand on hers as he spoke, 
but she did not respond in any way. 
After a moment he said, 

“ I will say a little prayer now, and then 
leave you to rest.” He knelt and offered 
a few words of supplication, asking that 
they might both be pardoned for all past 
sins whether towards each other or to- 
wards God. Then with a kind word and 
a smile he left her. Ursula coming in 
found her in a more comfortable attitude, 
and soon she fell into a peaceful slumber. 

Herbert went about his parish work as 
usual. The story of the poor woman who 
had been found by Hammond and taken 
to the rectory was soon known to all the 
village, but those who ventured to ques- 
tion the rector received the quiet answer, 
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“ She is a person whom I knew some 
years ago, and I do not feel justified in 
telling her story at present/’ 

This remark he repeated from time to 
time, feeling that it was not wise to make 
the matter public until he could see the 
future more plainly. But as he reached 
the rectory gate late in the afternoon, he 
saw Sylvia leaving the church. It was 
impossible to avoid a meeting, so he raised 
his hat and then put out his hand. 

“ I have been arranging the flowers for 
to-morrow,” she said as she greeted him. 
“ I wish I could have had more, but it is 
still so cold.” 

“ To-morrow ! Ah yes, the Feast of the 
Annunciation, I had forgotten for the mo- 
ment. I am sure you have made the best 
of what you have. I shall beg a few, I 
think.” 

“ For your guest ? ” asked Sylvia. 

“ Yes ; perhaps you can guess who she is.” 
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“ I wondered if it could be,” she replied. 
“ I did not hear. I do not think any one 
knows.” 

“ Xo, I do not wish to tell the world 
just yet. She is very ill and we cannot 
tell what may be before us.” Then in a 
low voice he added, “ Will you think of 
me sometimes in your prayers?” 

“ Indeed I will,” she replied, and he 
pressed her hand and left her. 

Sylvia walked hastily home, went 
directly to her own room and threw her- 
self on a low couch near the window. For 
the next hour she lay there almost motion- 
less, but as the clock struck six, she rose, 
dressed for dinner, and spent the evening 
as usual. Any conflict she might have 
undergone, left no outward trace. She 
was in her place at the early service the 
following morning, and presided over the 
distribution of the lilies at even song. 

With Kittie the day passed quietly. 

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Herbert visited her again but attempted 
no serious conversation, only a few kind 
enquiries and another short prayer. The 
doctor reported her a little better; she 
noticed the baby, when she thought no 
one was looking, and talked for a while on 
indiiferent subjects with Ursula. The 
faithful old woman was at first inclined to 
be rather brusque with her charge, but her 
kind heart was soon touched by Kittie’s 
helplessness, and she was shrewd enough to 
see that the silence the latter maintained 
was not the result of indifference. 

Several days passed in this way. One 
or two people who knew Herbert’s history 
suspected who his guest was, but fortu- 
nately they were men, and discreet men, 
so that nothing was said or done to annoy 
him. The doctor took good care of his 
patient, doing all in his power for her and 
by Holy Week declared that it was only a 
question of time. She showed much more 
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interest in her surroundings, and appeared 
to be on the watch for Herbert’s daily 
visit. 

On Easter even she was moved to the 
couch and early in the afternoon Herbert 
came in. It was a beautiful bright day, 
and as he glanced out of the window at 
the fair scene around, he murmured to 
himself, 

“As bright and quiet all things seem 
As if no heart on earth could ache.” 

Kittie was not expecting him just then 
and had her babe beside her. As a rule 
she abstained from anything which could 
draw his attention to the child, but this 
time it was too late, she could only hope 
he had not noticed it. 

But after his greeting to her, he stood 
gazing at the little innocent face and sud- 
denly without looking at her he remarked, 

“ She has not been baptized, has she ? ” 
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“No,” Kittie replied, “I never could 
name her. I thought perhaps she would 
not live and then it would not matter 
whether she had a name or not.” 

It was no time to discuss the subject of 
baptism, and Herbert only said, 

“ There are several children to be bap- 
tized this afternoon. Would it not be well 
for her to be one of them ? ” 

“If you wish it,” Kittie replied list- 
lessly. 

Herbert longed to say more, but thought 
it was better not to press the matter, and 
simply asked, 

“ What shall I name her ? ” 

“ I don’t care, as long as you do not 
give her my name. Don’t name her after 
any one.” 

“ Yery well, I will choose the name,” he 
said with a kind smile. He was convinced 
that Kittie felt more than she cared to 
show, and also that it was better not to 
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insist on her saying more than she wished 
to. 

At that moment he Avas called a\\^ay 
and she did not see him again until about 
six o’clock when he came in with the little 
one on his arm. 

“ There she is, Kittie,” he said, laying 
her in her mother’s arms ; “ her name is 
Hope, and she is going to be your comfort 
and inspiration, I trust.” 

“ Oh, no, Herbert, I must not keep her ; 
send her somewhere where she will be 
well brought up; I am not fit to train 
her,” and the tears floAved so fast that for 
a moment Herbert feared it Avould be 
necessary to call Ursula. But after drink- 
ing a little Avater, Kittie recovered herself 
and said sadly, 

‘‘ If only I had died, it Avould have been 
best for us both. I tried twice to do it, 
but the water looked so dark and cold that 
I could not.” 


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Herbert repressed a shudder and said 
gently, 

“ God has some plans for you yet, and 
for this little one too. We will bring her 
up to be a useful and I trust a happy 
woman. Do not be anxious about her, 
Kittie. She has begun a new life to-day, 
and please God it shall all be in accord- 
ance with this beginning.” 

He bent down and kissed the little face, 
and then to Kittie’s surprise he touched 
her brow with his lips. It was a great 
contrast to the kisses which he had once 
lavished upon her, but she was deeply 
moved by it and looked up at him with an 
expression which brought the tears to his 
eyes. 

The next day was an ideal Easter. 
Herbert was busy all day with early and 
late services, but he found time to make 
two visits to Kittie’s room. When he left 
her before evening-service, she said gently, 
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“ You are so good to me, Herbert, it 
makes me hope that God will some day 
forgive me.” 

“ Don’t wait for ‘ some day,’ ” he an- 
swered kindly. “ The pardon is ready for 
us ; we have but to ask, you know.” 

She made no reply, and the church bell 
was ringing, so he had to leave her, but he 
felt thankful that she had said something 
to show that her thoughts Avere busy with 
higher things, and he prayed long and 
earnestly for her before he went to rest. 


34 


CHAPTER III 


Kittie was evidently growing stronger 
every day, and on the Wednesday in 
Easter week was able to sit up for a while. 
Herbert felt anxious to come to some kind 
of an understanding, but hardly knew how 
to broach the subject. It was Kittie after 
all who took the initiative by saying, 

“ I shall soon be well now, or at least 
well enough to go away.” 

“ Why should you go ? ” asked Herbert. 
“ Why, Herbert, you surely do not want 
me to stay. I never expected such kind- 
ness as you have shown me. My only idea 
in coming to Clover field was to make it as 
easy as possible for you to get a divorce. 
I knew you would shrink from any public- 
ity, and I thought if I came here and told 
you everything, you could manage it with- 
out many people knowing about it.” 

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Until Seventy Times Seven 


“Do you wish it for your own sake, 
Kittie?’’ 

“ It makes no difference to me,” she said 
coloring. 

“ Then we will not speak of it again,” 
he rejoined ; “ as things are now we could 
not get one in this state anyway.” 

“ Why I thought that even here you 
could be set free from such a creature as I 
am. Oh, I see,” she continued, after a 
moment’s pause, “ by taking me in you 
condoned the offense, is that it ? ” 

“That is the legal term, I believe, but 
it does not matter.” 

“ I hoped you would,” said Kittie, sadly. 
“ I have spoiled your life completely 
now. If you were free, you might find 
some good woman who would make you 
happy.” 

Herbert made no answer, and after a 
moment she continued, 

“ Oh, if I had only died. I am a burden 
36 


Xlniit Seventy Times Seven 


and a care to you, and I do not know what 
to do. You cannot really want me to stay 
here.” 

“ Why not if you can be happy ? ” 

“ Happy ! I never can be happy again.” 
Then with a change of tone she asked, 

“ Herbert, does any one here know who 
I am, except the doctor of course ? ” 

“ I have only told one friend as yet,” he 
replied. 

“ If I could stay here as your house- 
keeper, or something of that kind, it might 
be. But after all I am afraid I would not 
be of much use, and I suppose the truth 
would come out some time. Those things 
always do, and that would be bad for 
you.” 

“ There must be no deception,” Herbert 
said firmly. “ As it is I think I may have 
done wrong in not being more open with my 
people. While I have never told a direct 
falsehood, at times I have come very near 
37 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


prevaricating, and lately I have felt doubt- 
ful as to the wisdom of my course in many 
ways. So we will make a new beginning, 
and tell the plain truth. It is a difficult 
situation, and we must start rightly, or else 
we shall increase the difficulties.” 

‘‘ But do you think your people will be 
willing to have me stay here if they know 
the truth ? ” 

“ I cannot tell ; but, if not, there are 
other places where we are needed. I am 
not altogether dependent on my salary, 
you know, and there will be no difficulty 
in finding something to do.” 

“ I have wrecked your life, and thrown 
away my own happiness,” said Kittie 
sadly ; “ no one will want to have anything 
to do with me. There is no place for me 
in the world.” 

“ Don’t say that,” he replied quickly. 
‘‘ You may have lost your place in society, 
but in the world — God’s world — there is 
38 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


surely a niche for you and work for you 
to do.’’ 

‘‘ I might go in for something special, 
but I am not good enough. I mean,” she 
continued, as Herbert seemed about to 
speak, “ I don’t care for such things. I 
have heard of people like myself who were 
converted and forgot everything in their 
love for God and in working for Him, but 
I am not like that. I am sorry of course, 
and I do say my prayers sometimes, and I 
have a feeling that God will not be hard 
on me, but it is all so unreal. I cannot 
think of anything but your goodness, that 
overwhelms me,” and she turned aside to 
hide her tears. 

“ Then if you care to please me, stay 
with me,” Herbert said. “ I am in ear- 
nest.” 

“ But I cannot believe that that would 
be the best thing for you. I am sure you 
would be better off without me. How- 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


ever, I will not go away just now, and I 
promise never to go without telling you. 
Will that do ? ’’ 

“ I am not satisfied,’’ he replied, but 
we will let it rest there for the present. 
Think of it from every point of view and 
consider what will be best for little Hope. 
You see, Kittie, to be very frank with you, 
you owe her even more than most mothers 
owe their children. If you content your- 
self with putting her into an institution, 
and simply earning enough to support her, 
you will be depriving her of what she so 
sorely needs, a mother’s care and love. 
Now, I am willing to adopt her legally, 
and will do all in my power to be a real 
father to her. I will leave you now and 
we will let a few days pass before we 
speak of this again.” 

Two or three days later as Dr. Johnson 
was leaving the Doanes’, Sylvia joined 
him and walked with him to the gate. 

40 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


“ How is your patient at the rectory ? 
she asked, as soon as they were out of 
hearing. 

“ She is gaining every day ; she sits up 
now.” 

“ Then you think she will live ? ” 

“ Alas, yes. Do you know her his- 
tory ? ” 

“ I know who she is,” Sylvia answered 
simply. 

“ Then perhaps you can help us. If she 
remained here and everything was known, 
how would people treat her ? ” 

‘‘ I cannot tell ; I would be willing to 
know her, but I cannot answer for other 
people. I should think it would depend 
very much on her conduct. Is that Mr. 
Lincoln’s plan for her ? ” 

“ He thinks it the right thing to do. I 
can’t agree with him altogether, but I ad- 
mire him more than I can tell. If all 
Christians were like him one might be- 
41 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


lieve in Christianity, but there are not 
many such in the world.” 

“ Perhaps not,” answered Sylvia quietly, 
“ but after all the Master whom we are 
called to serve stands absolutely alone. 
The question for us to consider is not how 
well His professed followers imitate Him, 
but whether He Himself is worthy of our 
allegiance.” 

There was a moment’s pause, then she 
asked : 

“ How does Mrs. Lincoln feel herself ? 
Will she stay ? Can he save her ? ” 

“ That is just the point. She is very 
reticent, at least to me. What I fear is, 
that while this may seem a refuge now 
that she is weak and miserable, it will be 
dull and tame when she is well, and he 
will have to go through the whole thing 
again, after having made great sacrifices. 
I knew them when they were first mar- 
ried, and, although Herbert was always 
42 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


very reserved about it, I am sure there 
were many fresh beginnings and promises 
of amendment that were forgotten almost 
as soon as made. She never seemed to 
have any soul, or heart, either, for that 
matter. She lived on excitement, and I 
doubt if she can do without it. Oh, it is a 
thankless task, this trying to save people 
in spite of themselves.” 

“ Yes, but it is so emphatically what 
Christians are called upon to do. It is 
what Christ is always doing.” 

“ That is what Herbert said when I 
remonstrated with him,” Felix answered, 
and there was a pause, then Sylvia asked, 

“ Is there anything I can do ? Would 
she care for some flowers ? ” 

“ I am sure she would. What I wish 
most of all is that she could know you, but 
I suppose that is hardly possible.” 

I will call upon her, if you and Mr. 
Lincoln think best,” said Sylvia firmly, 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


but not without effort, “ but I doubt if I 
can help her at all. I have no expe- 
rience.” 

“ Of course not, how should you have 
any ? My idea was that in some ways a 
woman might gain her confidence and so 
help us. We men are so clumsy and help- 
less in such things.” 

Sylvia smiled at the implied compli- 
ment, but made no other answer. They 
had reached the gate by this time and she 
said good-morning and returned to the 
house. 

The doctor drove to the rectory and 
finding Kittie a little stronger advised 
a change of scene. 

“Is there no other room where she 
could be carried for a time?” he asked 
Ursula. 

“JS'one on this floor, but perhaps she 
might go to the dining-room. The parlor 
'wouldn’t do, too many people come there,” 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


“Yes, she is too easily excited to risk 
meeting any one who would not know 
how to treat her, but the dining-room 
would do nicely and the outlook is dif- 
ferent.” 

“ O, doctor,” Ursula said in a low tone, 
“isn’t it hard to believe that she is the 
same one we used to know ? She is 
so changed.” 

“Yes, indeed,” Felix said with a sigh, 
“ but she has only herself to thank for it.” 

“I don’t know what is to become of 
her,” Ursula continued. “I suppose Mr. 
Lincoln will make a home for her some- 
where. I sometimes think I could almost 
make up my mind to go with her and 
look after her, only I can’t leave him. 
I’ve been with him all his life.” 

The doctor made no answer, but was 
glad to hear her speak in that way. He 
had feared her opposition to Herbert’s 
plan, and was relieved to know that 
45 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


she would enter into it so heartily. He 
made arrangements for Kittie’s little 
excursion that afternoon, and left. 

A few hours later Kit tie was lying on a 
couch near the dining-room window en- 
joying the view. She was shielded by 
a curtain, but still could see the church 
and its beautiful surroundings, especially 
reveling in a large magnolia tree covered 
with buds. Suddenly the door opened in 
a building beside the church, and a young 
man whom she knew to be the choir- 
master came out, followed by a boy 
of about twelve whose face was also 
familiar. For the room Kittie occupied 
looked out on the street, and lately Ursula 
had tried to entertain her with chatter 
about the various people who came in and 
out of the rectory. So she knew that 
Lawrence Gaylord was one of the choir 
boys and that he was also a very good 
scholar. Mr. Lincoln took a great interest 
46 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


in him, and was teaching him something 
which brought him there at stated times. 
The young choirmaster led the way to the 
rectory door, and as the pair drew near, 
Kittie noticed that the boy looked down- 
cast and ashamed. She lost sight of them 
as they turned the corner, then she heard 
a low murmur in the hall as Herbert, who 
had seen them coming, admitted them 
himself. She saw the young man return- 
ing alone to the choir-room, and the next 
moment she heard Herbert’s voice, as dis- 
tinctly as if he were in the room with her. 
She looked up and saw that a transom 
between study and dining-room was open. 
It was impossible for her to reach it 
or even leave the room unaided, so fancy- 
ing that a conversation with a chorister 
could hardly be confidential, she tried to 
turn her attention to the window again. 
She found however that she could not 
avoid hearing what was going on. 

47 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


Herbert’s first words had been, 

“ O Lawrence, I am sorry to hear this, I 
thought you had more moral courage.” 

Something very like a sob answered 
him and after a moment he continued, 

“ I am deeply grieved, but I shall have 
to punish you in some way. One of the 
things that I must insist on in the boys 
who are allowed to lead the praises in 
church is absolute truthfulness. I know 
you are all young and I do not expect as 
much from you as from older people, but 
irreverence in church and falsehood at any 
time cannot be overlooked.” 

“ O Mr. Lincoln, I am sorry, indeed 
I am, please believe me, I didn’t mean to, 
I said it before I thought.” These and 
other disconnected sentences fell on Kit- 
tie’s ear in tones that suggested a great 
effort not to burst into tears. 

“ I do believe you, Lawrence, at least I 
believe that you are sincere in thinking 
48 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


that you are sorry, but you know we 
all feel badly when we are disgraced.” 

Lawrence murmured something which 
Kittie did not catch. 

It is very easy to say you are penitent, 
but if it is true repentance you will be 
able to prove it.” 

“ How ? ” came in a choking voice. 

“ By bearing bravely and patiently the 
punishment I am going to lay upon you. 
Yes,” he added after a moment’s pause, “ I 
must punish you even though I believe as 
you say that you yielded to a sudden temp- 
tation and that you will try never to do it 
again. You see this is not a matter be- 
tween our two selves. If you had told me 
a falsehood while we were alone here in 
the study, I might have been satisfied with 
your expressions of repentance, and have 
overlooked it. But all the other boys 
heard this, and they must learn as well as 
you that such a fault cannot go unpunished. 

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Until Seventy Times Seven 


So I shall suspend you from the choir until 
Whitsunday and that of course includes 
the supper on Ascension Day. I am sorry, 
but I think it is only right that you all 
should be made to feel what a sinful thing 
a lie is.” 

There was a moment’s silence and then 
Herbert said gently, 

“ Shall we ask God’s forgiveness ? ” 
Kittie bowed her head and followed 
every word of the simple prayer. It 
moved her more than any which had been 
offered beside her. After a pause Law- 
rence said with evident effort, 

‘‘Well, Mr. Lincoln, I will try to re- 
member that I deserve it, and to bear it 
patiently, and when it is over, will you 
forgive me too, and let me be with you 
again ? ” 

“When it is over,” Herbert exclaimed, 
and Kittie could imagine his expression as 
he said it, “ my dear boy, I take you back 
50 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


to your old place in my heart here and 
now.” There was a slight rustle as if he 
literally took the boy to his heart, and he 
went on, “ If it seems very hard, if the 
Sundays are trying and the boys tease you, 
and you long for comfort, come right here 
to me. While I must not shorten your 
sentence even by one day, I will at all 
times be ready to give you sympathy and 
affection.” 

The long restrained tears broke forth 
now, and Kittie was touched by the tender 
tones in which her husband tried to soothe 
the boy’s grief. Presently Lawrence said 
brokenly, 

‘ ‘‘ O Mr. Lincoln, you have done ever so 

many kind things for me, and I am very 
grateful, but I never loved you as much as 
I do now.” 

‘‘ My dear, dear boy,” Herbert exclaimed, 
“ it is a great comfort to hear you say so. 
I have my burdens and sorrows, Lawrence, 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


more than you can understand, and one of 
the brightest spots in my life lately has 
been teaching you and having you with 
me. I am glad and thankful that what 
has happened to-day will not bring a cloud 
between us. And now I am going to say 
something which I want you to remember 
all your life. Are you listening ? Well, 
while I do not want you to think that all 
our trials and crosses are sent to us as 
punishments, still it does often happen 
that we have to bear very unpleasant con- 
sequence of our wrong-doing, which is 
God’s way of punishing us. Now if such 
an experience comes to you when you are 
older, I want you to remember what has 
just passed between us. Although God 
may think it best that you should suffer 
because you have done wrong. He does 
not mean to keep you at arm’s length, so 
to speak, all the time the punishment may 
last. You can come to Him and open 
52 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


your heart to Him just as you have done 
to me, and He will receive your confession 
even more lovingly than I have done. I 
have a heartache to bear this moment ; the 
greatest sorrow of my life might have 
been averted I think if I had been more 
forbearing and sympathetic. I shall have 
to suffer for that harshness and unkind- 
ness all my life in some way, I know, but 
God is very good to me and comforts me 
all the time. Now,” he added, in an ordi- 
nary tone, “ I will go to the choir-room 
and tell the boys what I have decided, and 
you had better stay here a little while 
until those eyes are more presentable. 
You will find all you need for bathing 
them in the alcove. And perhaps you 
would like me to see your mother first.” 

“ Can you spare the time,” asked Law- 
rence, “and anyway would it not be 
shirking ? ” 

“ I ought to visit old Mrs. Green,” said 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


the rector, “ and that is so near your home 
that I can easily speak to your mother. I 
think that will be the best plan. Now, 
have you any treasures in your desk in the 
choir-room that you would like to have 
before AVhitsunday? If so, and you can 
wait till you come for your lesson to-mor- 
row, I will let you take my key then. 
You will not care to see the boys again 
to-night, I am sure.” 

“Then I may come as usual to-mor- 
row ? ” 

“ Of course, my boy, I told you nothing 
was changed between us. Good-bye.” 

From the sounds that followed Her- 
bert’s departure, Kittie inferred that it 
would be some time before the boy’s eyes 
were presentable. Her own were wet, and 
her heart was full. She lay there a long 
time thinking over the conversation and 
occasionally venturing to breathe a prayer, 
until she heard her husband enter. At 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


the same minute Ursula appeared think- 
ing that Kittie’s change had lasted long 
enough. 

“I thought you would never come in, 
Mr. Herbert,’’ she said reproachfully ; 
“ and that poor thing ought to be in bed, 
but I can’t carry her up.” 

He followed the old woman into the 
dining-room. 

“ I forgot you were here, Kittie,” he re- 
marked. 

“Yes, I supposed you did, or else you 
did not know how well I could hear all 
that went on in the study. I did not 
think at first that anything you could 
have to say to a choir boy could be spe- 
cially private, and when I discovered what 
it was, I really thought it would embar- 
rass him more to have me speak. Besides 
I grew interested in what you were saying 
to him. It gave me so much to think of 
and I could not help listening.” 

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Until Seventy Times Seven 


‘‘Well, it does not really matter. Tlie 
poor little chap’s disgrace is public prop- 
erty by this time, and though I might not 
have said all I did if I had known there 
was a third person present, it has done no 
harm. Now I will take you up-stairs.” 

He lifted her as he spoke and sighed as 
he realized how light she was. 

“ Can you stay a few minutes ? ” she said 
as he laid her on the bed. “ I want to tell 
you something.” 

“ Don’t you think you had better wait 
until to-morrow ? ” he asked at a sign from 
Ursula. 

“No,” Kittie insisted eagerly, “do let 
me tell you now. I may not want to, to- 
morrow.” 

Herbert saw that it was best to let her 
have her own way, so he asked Ursula to 
carry the child into the next room, and 
seated himself beside Kittie in such a posi- 
tion that she could not see his face. 

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Until Seventy Times Seven 


With faltering voice, pausing from time 
to time, she told her sad story. It was a 
pitiful tale of a few faint struggles against 
temptation skilfully offered by a fascina- 
ting, unscrupulous man, who considered a 
pretty, unsuccessful actress decidedly “ fair 
game.” Protected neither by love for her 
husband nor by religious principle, Kittie 
soon yielded, after losing her position at 
the theatre. Then followed a few months 
of constant companionship, but at last 
came the inevitable end. 

‘‘ I saw he was growing tired of me,” 
Kittie said sadly, “ but I hoped that when 
I told him why I looked so badly, and 
was such poor company he might turn to 
me again, but all he said was, ‘ What a 
bore ! ’ He went away the next day, and 
I never saw him again. He sent me 
money and told me I could have more by 
asking his lawyer, but of course I never 
did. But then, Herbert, I began to think 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


of you. You know what I must have re- 
membered then.” 

Herbert made an inarticulate sound ex- 
pressing assent, and Kittie continued, 

“ At first my regrets were all selfish. I 
only thought how foolish I had been, and 
how much happiness I might have had if I 
had only made a little effort, but later I be- 
gan to realize how cruelly I had treated 
you, and I wondered if I could do anything 
to give you a chance of being happy again. 
I planned one letter after another, but it 
seemed as if the shame of it all was more 
than I could bear to put into words. And 
I felt sure that I could not live through 
what was before me, so finally contented 
myself with arranging that you should be 
told of my death if it happened, and I 
wrote a little letter saying I was sorry. 
But you see unfortunately we both lived. 
I was very ill and then it took some time 
for me to earn enough money to get here. 

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Until Seventy Times Seven 


But I never expected this. I did think that 
after I had told you everything, and you 
had made all the arrangements for a di- 
vorce, that you might put me in the way 
of getting along somehow, as you would 
do for any poor creature.” 

There was a long pause, then Kittie 
spoke again. 

“ Of course, Herbert, I did very wrong 
in leaving you at all, and a great deal of 
my conduct was utterly unworthy of your 
wife. I can’t tell it to you now, I am too 
tired, but I did want you to know that I 
kept clear of that worst sin, for a long 
time. 1 could not bear to have you think 
that I had been living that kind of a life 
all along and perhaps with more than one. 
And then, — this is a strange thing to say 
to you, — but I did think I cared for him. I 
don’t know that it makes it any better.” 

“ I think it does,” Herbert said hoarsely • 
“of course it is all very sad and wrong, 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


but on the whole I would rather think 
that you erred from the love of some one 
person, sinful as that love was, than from 
love of the sin itself.” 

“ O Herbert, after I once yielded and 
went to live with him I never had a mo- 
ment’s rest. I did it because I thought I 
could not live without him, but I was 
perfectly wretched.” 

“ I am sure of it,” he answered kindly. 
“ How you need not feel that you need tell 
me anything more that is painful, unless 
there is some special reason for speaking. 
Tell all to God as these things come into 
your mind, but remember I have forgiven 
everything, whether I know it or not.” 

She closed her eyes in sheer exhaustion, 
and a moment later she felt his hand on 
her forehead, and heard words that she 
had learned thoughtlessly in her childhood, 
which were to have a deep and sacred as- 
sociation for her henceforth : 

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‘‘ Grant, we beseech Thee, merciful Lord, 
to this Thy penitent child pardon and 
peace, that she may be cleansed from all 
her sins, and serve Thee with a quiet mind, 
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.” 


61 


CHAPTER lY 


“You will put your eyes out, I am 
afraid, Mrs. Lincoln.” 

“ O Ursula, just let me finish this one. 
It is such a pleasure to do anything for 
him.” 

Such was the fragment of conversation 
that Herbert caught the following after- 
noon as he drew near the door of the 
room that Kittie occupied. He had seen 
her in the morning for a few minutes, but 
had not had time for a talk. As he entered 
he noticed that she was darning one of his 
socks, and the smile with which she greeted 
him was the first he had seen since her re- 
turn. 

“How industrious you are,” he said 
playfully. “ I think I shall have to add to 
your labors. Can you do anything with 
these dilapidated gloves ? ” 

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Until Seventy Times Seven 


“ Oh, yes, they are only ripped, hardly 
worn at all. I can mend them in a short 
time. Where did you get those lovely 
flowers ? ” 

“ Lawrence brought them when he came 
for his lesson this morning. I kept a few 
for the study, and you must have the 
rest.” 

“ How is Lawrence ? ” asked Kittie, sup- 
pressing a sigh at the thought of all that 
had happened since Herbert used to bring 
her flowers. 

“Very well, apparently, as to health, 
though somewhat subdued. He did not 
refer to his trouble, but I thought these 
meant a good deal,” and Herbert touched 
the flowers caressingly. “ I told his mother 
yesterday, and made her promise not to 
nag him. She is wrapped up in him, but 
sometimes acts unwisely, and I felt anx- 
ious. I was very much pleased yesterday 
with his way of taking his sentence, and I 
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was afraid she might either lament over 
its severity, or mourn over his disgrace in 
a way that would efface his good im- 
pressions. So 1 told her I had scolded 
him as much as I thought best, and she 
promised not to reproach him. His hard 
time will come to-morrow.” 

It must be a comfort to you to have 
him take it all so bravely.” 

“ It is indeed. Some day I shall have to 
tell him how strongly I was tempted to 
overlook the whole thing from sheer 
cowardice. I was afraid of losing his 
affection, and he really is very dear 
to me.” 

‘‘ Who is he, and what are his circum- 
stances ? ” asked Kittie. 

“ His father was a sort of steward for 
the Doanes, and when he died he left 
very small provision for his wife and 
child. Mrs. Gajdord takes in sewing and 
they manage very nicely. Lawrence is 
64: 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


very bright and she wants to educate him 
well. I am giving him Latin lessons just 
now. We want to make some arrange- 
ment about sending him to a better grade 
of school than anything we have here, but 
so far the way is not clear.” 

There was quite a silence, then Kittie 
said, 

“ So much of your talk yesterday seemed 
meant for me. I needed just those things 
that you said to Lawrence.” 

“ What do you mean ? ” asked Herbert. 

“ Well, I have been saying all these wild 
things about wishing I could die, and that 
there was no place for me in the world, 
and thinking that that was repentance. I 
see now that I must face my punishment 
and bear it bravely like Lawrence. So I 
am not going to say any more of those 
foolish things, they only distress you and 
do no good, but you must not think I do 
not feel it.” 


65 


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Herbert took her hand in his ; he could 
not speak, and in a moment she went on, 
“How about my staying here, I should 
like to be sure that you really want me. 
I know you do in your soul because you 
think it is right and what Christ would 
do. You see I have not forgotten the 
Bible-teaching, though I have disregarded 
it so long. But in your heart would you 
not be happier if I went away ? Is there 
no place for me where I can be helped to 
do right? Indeed I would try for your 
sake as well as for my own. A Penitents’ 
Home does not sound attractive, but it is 
all I have any right to hope for.” 

“ I think we had better make this a 
penitents’ home,” said Herbert, smiling; 
then more seriously, “ I blame myself very 
much, Kittie, for all that is past. I should 
have been more tender, more forbearing, 
and if I had not succeeded in winning your 
love for myself, I might perhaps have 
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Until Seventy Times Seven 


drawn you towards better things. But 
although I loved you passion atel}^, in- 
tensely, I see now that my affection was 
selfish. I was jealous, not in the vulgar 
sense, but I was impatient of any interest 
of yours in which I had no share, and 
many times when I remonstrated, and said 
that certain things were not suitable for a 
clergyman’s wife, I was moved by that 
feeling, though I did not realize it. I 
alienated you not only from myself, but I 
fear from God. If I had been more 
patient, more unselfish, in a word, more 
Christlike, all this might never have been.” 

“O Herbert, I cannot let you blame 
yourself so severely. I deserved all you 
ever said to me, and even if you did lose 
your temper at times, I am sure you had 
plenty of provocation. And as a whole 
your life was beautiful. If I had not felt 
that you were a real Christian, do you think 
I could have been so sure that even if you 
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freed yourself from me, you would put me 
in the way of making a new beginning, or 
if I had died that you would see that poor 
little baby was placed in good hands. I 
did not half appreciate you at the time, 
but when I had real sorrows to bear, I re- 
membered how different you were from 
others. I cannot understand now, how I 
could live with you for three years and yet 
after that be able to commit such a sin. It 
seems as if no unhappiness, no punishment 
could be too great.” 

Well, we will let the past go and only 
plan for the future. Not only in my soul, 
but really in my heart do I want you to stay 
here. Nothing could give me more com- 
fort than to be able to do what I can for 
you in every way. Besides,” he continued, 
as he saw she was still unconvinced, ‘‘ you 
can do many things for me that no one 
else can do as things are. Ursula is very 
devoted, but she is only a servant, after 
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all. There is something lacking which I 
think you can supply.” 

“ But Herbert, you can’t possibly love 
me any more, and I should think it would 
be very hard for you to have me always 
around.” 

“ I will be frank with you, Kittie,” he 
answered, after a moment’s pause ; “ I can- 
not love you in the old way ; you would 
not believe me if I said I did, but I do feel 
a sort of affection, a wish to make you 
happy if possible, which I think might be 
the beginning of a friendship between us, 
that would be more satisfactory than these 
years of loneliness. I do long for some- 
thing like a home, and there is no woman 
but yourself who can make it for me. Of 
course it would not be the home I hoped 
for when we were married, but I think we 
might get along as well together as rela- 
tives often do.” 

“ But if there is to be no deception, and 
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I see you are right in saying so, what shall 
I do with the baby ? ’’ 

“ I will adopt her, if you are willing.’^ 

“ O Herbert, I cannot bear such good- 
ness.” 

He only smiled at her. 

“ And then,” she added, “ if every one 
else knows my story, she will have to 
also.” 

“ Yes, I think she ought to, but you are 
going to be such a good mother that be- 
fore it is possible for her to understand it, 
she will love 3^ou so dearly that it will not 
be very terrible after all.” 

“Well,” Kittie said emphatically after 
thinking for a few moments, “ I will stay 
with you, as you really wish it. I will not 
make any promise about our whole lives, 
for we may find it does not work. But I 
will give it a fair trial, and I will promise 
never to leave you without your full ap- 
proval. And of course I understand that 
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I have no right to claim any privileges as 
your wife whether socially or otherwise. 
I will let you support me and my poor 
child, and do anything else that your kind 
heart suggests, and I suppose I must bear 
your name though I have disgraced it, but 
I do not expect anything from you or 
your people. If you can make that plain 
to every one, there may be less opposi- 
tion.” 

“ It seems very hard, Kittie, but I fear 
it cannot be otherwise.” 

“ It is right,” Kittie said sadly ; “ re- 
member your talk with Lawrence yester- 
day. It is the same thing on a larger 
scale. It is not simply a question of a 
wrong I have done you and which you 
have pardoned. It cannot be kept to our- 
selves, but it affects others also. If a 
woman like myself is treated as if nothing 
had happened, will not some of the young 
people think too lightly of wrong-doing ? 
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There may be some in the parish who will 
misunderstand you anyway, and think you 
weak, so we must be careful not to do any- 
thing that would give color to that view. 
I will begin by mending your gloves, and 
to-morrow if I go down-stairs, perhaps 
Ursula can pick a few of those flowers for 
me and I will fill the vases, and as I grow 
stronger there will be other things that I 
can do. I will try very hard.” 

Herbert left her with a smile but it soon 
died away as he seated himself at the 
study-table and leaning his head on his 
hand, fell into a reverie which lasted until 
tea-time. 

He at once made arrangements for a 
special meeting of the vestry on the fol- 
lowing Monday, for he was anxious that 
the matter should be settled as soon as 
possible, and longed for absolute certainty 
in regard to the future. 

When the time came all were present, 
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and in a few words he explained the situa- 
tion to them and left them to decide 
whether they would accept his resigna- 
tion. He went up to his own room feel- 
ing unable to face Kittie, but the suspense 
did not last long, for a message was soon 
sent asking him to return. The two ward- 
ens were kind old men who had always 
been on the right side in all doubtful ques- 
tions, and they both saw the thing in the 
right light. Two of the vestrymen were 
opposed at first, but they found it impossi- 
ble to answer the arguments of the ward- 
ens, and soon withdrew their objections. 

‘‘We will stand by you, Mr. Lincoln,” 
said the senior warden, as Herbert entered, 
“ because we firmly believe that you are 
doing as Christ has taught us. For my 
part I am perfectly willing to meet your 
wife at any time ; when she is stronger, I 
hope you will bring her out to see us.” 

Herbert thanked him, and looked en- 
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quiringly at the others. “We are not 
willing to accept your resignation,” said 
one of the opposing vestrymen, “ but I 
think you are right in not introducing 
your wife generally. The ladies might 
object.” 

“ She will never intrude,” said Herbert 
with an effort. 

“ I trust,” the senior warden said gently, 
“ that there is no woman among our com- 
municants who would be really unkind to 
a fallen sister.” 

Herbert turned away, and in a moment 
the meeting broke up. 

The kind old man lingered to assure 
Herbert of his sympathy, and to offer 
everything he could think of for Kittie’s 
pleasure or comfort. He meant kindly 
but at the moment his obvious patronage 
was rather more than Herbert could bear, 
and he was thankful to see the doctor 
enter. 


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The latter did not see the warden at 
first and at once put the question, 

“Well, what was the decision of the 
council ? ” 

“ Favorable,” replied the rector ; “ here 
is Mr. Harding, Fee.” 

“ Of course it is favorable,” said the old 
man as he shook hands with the doctor. 
“ How could Christians do otherwise ? ” 

“ A great many do,” the doctor retorted. 

“Yes, there are many so-called Chris- 
tians who are not Christlike, but you 
surely do not think that the mass of us are 
such hypocrites, that we would refuse our 
sanction when Mr. Lincoln is willing to 
pardon his erring wife.” 

Herbert winced, and Felix noted it, so 
he only answered, 

“I never expected anything but kind- 
ness from you^ Mr. Harding.” 

“ Well, I tell you there is more Chris- 
tianity among us than you give us credit 
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for. We may be careless and inconsistent 
in every-day matters, but we are not will- 
ing to be on the wrong side when the 
right is as clear as it is in this case.” 

“ Herbert, you look tired out,” the doc- 
tor exclaimed, seeing that his friend could 
really bear no more. Mr. Harding could 
hardly fail to take so broad a hint, and 
took his leave. Felix went to the door 
with him and made a slight apology, say- 
ing that Mr. Lincoln had been under a 
great strain for some time, and he felt 
anxious about him. 

“ Now it is settled,” he added, “ I hope 
he will feel relieved, if only he does not 
have to hear a lot of talk about it.” 

“ I will give my women-folks a hint,” 
said Mr. Harding ; “ it is hard on him, 
that’s a fact. Good-night ! ” 

Felix returned to the study and found 
Herbert standing by the window gazing 
out into the darkness. He closed the door 
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behind him, came softly up to his friend, 
and laid his hand on his shoulder. 

“ O Fee, this is kindness ! And yet ” 

You are all broken up,’’ said the doc- 
tor, “ do go right off to bed.” 

“ 1 ^ 0 , not yet, stay a little while with 
me. I dread being alone.” 

The doctor looked at him in astonish- 
ment, such a statement was so out of keep- 
ing with his character, but he made no 
comment, and presently Herbert con- 
tinued, 

“ They meant to be kind, but oh, it was 
terrible. Hever since the first blow have 
I endured a greater humiliation. And I 
suppose this is only the beginning.” 

“ Ah, I feared it would be too hard,” 
said the doctor. 

“ Ho, it shall not be too hard, I will 
carry it through ; but you know 3^ou are 
the only one I can speak to. That poor 
thing up-stairs must never know what all 
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this costs me, and I must show a brave 
front to the world, of course.” 

He turned away from Felix as he spoke, 
and flung himself face downward on the 
couch in the corner. Felix left him to 
himself for a few minutes, then came over 
and sat down close by him. 

“ Dear old fellow,” he said gently, ‘‘ I 
do wish I could help you.” 

“ You do help me every time you come,” 
came the answer in muflled tones, “ and I 
am helped in other Avays, only just now,” 
he paused, but after a moment continued, 
“ It was all so different from what I ex- 
pected ; I was prepared for opposition, and 
even defeat, but this patronizing kindness 
and the tone in which they spoke of her 
were almost unendurable. Yet of course 
I could not resent it, I ought to be thank- 
ful.” 

“ You will be to-morrow, when you have 
had a night’s rest. I must say I am glad 
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it is settled in this way. I hope they will 
live up to their promises.” 

There was a long pause. The rector’s 
face was still hidden, and the doctor sit- 
ting by him felt for the first time since his 
early youth a desire to pray, to appeal to 
some higher power for help. “ O God, if 
there be a God,” he said in his heart, and 
almost immediately the conviction flashed 
across him, “ there is a God,” not merely 
an impersonal force, but a divine Father. 
He was never able to explain just how 
the knowledge came to him, but at that 
moment he felt as certain of an unseen 
Presence, as he did that his friend lay be- 
side him grasping his hand. For the first 
time in years he found himself addressing 
God, perhaps it was the first time he had 
ever really prayed. He did not say, 
“ save my soul if I have a soul.” No 
thought of self entered into his petitions, 
his one desire was that Herbert should be 
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strengthened and comforted, and it was no 
surprise to him when after a few minutes 
the latter rose from the couch, and push- 
ing back his hair said quietly, 

There, I will not break down again, I 
must not. Thank you. Fee, for bearing 
with my weakness. I will take your ad- 
vice and go to bed very soon.” 

“ Then I will leave you,” and for an in- 
stant their hands met. Then Felix left 
the house, and Herbert turned the key 
in the study door. A quarter of an hour 
later he came out, and as he went up-stairs 
Ursula waylaid him in the hall. 

“Mr. Herbert, will you come in and 
speak to her a minute ? She says she 
can’t sleep until she knows.” 

“ Yery well,” he said with a sigh ; “ it is 
good news fortunately.” 

The room was arranged for the night, 
the infant was asleep in her little crib and 
only a dim light was burning. The sight 
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was almost more than he could bear at 
that moment. All looked so peaceful, it 
was hard to realize what sin and shame 
were connected with that mother and 
child. 

“ Well, Kittie,” he said, bending over 
her, “ it is all right, we need not move out 
just yet.” 

“ What did they say ? ” she asked. 

“ They talked it over, and decided that I 
might have my own way,” he replied, 
trying to speak lightly. “ So you must go 
to sleep like a good child and we will 
discuss it to-morrow. I am as sleepy now 
as you ought to be. Good-night ! ” 


81 


CHAPTER V 


It was the eve of Ascension Day. 
Kittie was sitting at her window enjoying 
the beautiful May afternoon, with Law- 
rence on a stool at her feet, chattering 
about his own concerns. He had made 
Kittie’s acquaintance shortly after his 
memorable conversation in the study, and 
feeling shy about mingling with the other 
boys while still under punishment he had 
formed the habit of spending most of his 
spare time with her. She had insisted on 
his asking his mother’s consent which the 
latter very unwillingly gave. In fact she 
had said that if it had been any one 
but Mr. Lincoln who had taken such a 
person into his home, she would have 
had nothing to do with them. But the 
rector had been so kind to Lawrence that 
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she could hardly refuse, and after all a 
boy as young as he could not get any 
harm from such intercourse. So she al- 
lowed him to visit Kittie who knew noth- 
ing of the reluctance and therefore en- 
joyed to the full the boy’s companionship. 

“ There comes Miss Sylvia,” announced 
Lawrence. “ I guess she is coming to see 
you. No, she is going into the church — to 
fill the vases, I suppose. Do you know 
her, Mrs. Lincoln ? ” 

“She has been here twice,” Kittie an- 
swered. “ Once I felt too ill to see her, 
and she has been very kind about sending 
me flowers, but I can hardly say I know 
her.” 

“ Don’t you think she’s just lovely ? I 
should like to put her into a story-book.” 

“Is that the highest compliment you 
can pay your friends ? ” said Kittie. 

“No, I don’t think it is. I don’t want 
to put you or Mr. Lincoln into a story- 
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book. I want to have you right here by 
me.” He laid his head back on Kittie’s 
knee and smiled at her. 

Kittie stroked his hair gently, and then 
said, 

You love Mr. Lincoln very much, don’t 
you ? ” 

“Next best to mother,” Lawrence re- 
sponded promptly. “I think he is the 
very best man that ever lived. I mean to 
be a clergyman some day but I am afraid 
I shall never be as good as he is.” 

He is very fond of you,” she remarked, 
wishing to draw the boy out a little. 

“Yes, I really think he is; it makes me 
very happy, he takes so much trouble 
about my lessons, and makes all sorts of 
kind plans.” He paused a minute, and 
then said, “ You know why I am not sing- 
ing in the choir just now ? ” 

“Yes,” Kittie answered. 

“ Well of course I wish I had not done 
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it, but I have learned to love Mr. Lincoln 
so that it almost makes up for the punish- 
ment, he has been so kind. I shall never 
forget it. First he went and told mother, 
and saved me that; it would have been 
real hard if I had had to do it. Then 
once or twice when the boys have plagued 
me, or when it seemed almost too hard to 
go to church and sit in a pew, he has 
noticed it and said something kind, and in 
lots of little ways he has helped me.” 

“ Because he saw that you were bearing 
it bravely,” said Kittie, “ that showed you 
were sorry, you see.” 

‘‘ How could one help being sorry when 
he is so kind ? ” 

*‘Ah, how indeed,” said Kittie to her- 
self, then she remarked aloud, “ But after 
all it is he who is punishing you.” 

“I know, but I can’t seem to realize 
that. Of course he need only say the 
word and it would all be over, but I never 
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feel as if it was his doing. I was bad, and 
I had to suffer; it wouldn't have been 
right to the other boys, you know, if I 
had been let off. It does seem pretty hard 
sometimes, but I know I did a very bad 
thing and I haven’t the excuse that some 
of the boys have. There’s Tom and Joe 
and Jack, they haven’t decent homes or 
any one to teach them.” 

“I don’t think you can guess what a 
comfort it is to Mr. Lincoln to have you 
take it that way, and I am sure you will 
be the better for it all your life.” 

‘‘That’s what he said the other day 
when I was feeling bad, because I couldn’t 
say any longer that I had never told a lie. 
He says it does not matter so much what 
we do or don’t do as what we are, and that 
I might be an all round better boy and 
man than some who can say what I 
can’t.” 

“ What else did he say ? ” Kittie asked, as 
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the boy stopped after this great effort at 
confidence. 

“I am not sure that I can remember, 
but I think he said something like this; 
that we have so many secret sins that we 
don’t realize that are spoiling our char- 
acters, so sometimes when we do a real 
wrong thing that we can’t deceive our- 
selves about, it may help us and be a good 
thing for us, because then we see how far 
we have wandered away, and if we feel 
rightly about it we will turn back to God 
again. And if He forgives as beautifully 
as Mr. Lincoln does it won’t be hard to 
turn to Him,” Lawrence added a minute 
later. 

“We are told He is kinder than any 
earthly friend,” said Kittie ; “ if Mr. Lin- 
coln is so kind it is because he has been 
taught by God.” 

“ If only one could bear all the punish- 
ment one’s self,” Lawrence sighed, think- 
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ing of his mother. She had been very 
careful not to reproach him, but he knew 
she felt his disgrace, and it was hard to 
see that his presence beside her at church 
was a mortification, instead of a pleasure. 

Kittie made no answer and as the boy 
looked up at her, he saw she was strug- 
gling with her tears. He understood the 
situation well enough to realize in a meas- 
ure what thoughts he must have suggested 
to her, but he felt instinctively that he 
must not speak directly on the subject. 
So he contented himself with drawing her 
hand to his lips and after a minute he 
ventured to say, 

“ O Mrs. Lincoln, I do love you.” 

“ Dear boy, you are a great comfort,” 
she replied, then recovering herself she 
said, “ Don’t you want to get me some of 
those white lilac blossoms ? I think they 
would look well in the middle of the tea- 
table.” 


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Lawrence hastened to gather them and 
helped her with the arrangement. Then 
he hurried away and she began to prepare 
the table. Ursula had gone for a little 
visit to a married niece, and Kittie really 
enjoyed doing various things about the 
house to help Martha. 

Herbert had expressed a wish that she 
should preside at the table, and she did so 
with the understanding that she need not 
appear if guests were present. She had 
just finished her arrangements when he 
looked in. 

‘‘ Are you there, Kittie ? Will you have 
another place set? I have captured Felix. 
No, don’t run away. We want you to 
look after us.” 

The doctor was such a familiar sight to 
Kittie, that she could not object to stay, 
ing, so she made ready for him, and was 
greeted by him with great cordiality. 

“You have made great progress since I 
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saw you. I think you do better without a 
doctor.” 

“ Yes, I am fairly well now. I have been 
down to breakfast every day for a week.” 

“And she is going to early church to- 
morrow,” Herbert added, “ unless you 
think it will be too much for her.” 

“ I imagine she can stand it, if she rests 
during the day,” said the doctor. 

“ I will go to bed early to-night,” added 
Kittie, “ but I should so prefer the early 
service.” 

The doctor had been away for about ten 
days, and Herbert seemed anxious to hear 
about his trip. He answered all questions, 
but in an absent manner, as if he were 
thinking of something else, and the con- 
versation languished. Kittie thought it 
was due to her presence and wished she 
had stayed away. It was a relief when 
the meal was over, and the two men went 
off to the study. 


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Kittie slipped up-stairs to attend to her 
baby, and then returned to put away the 
tea things. She had just finished, when 
the study door opened and she heard Her- 
bert say, 

“Tell Kittie what you have just told 
me.” 

The doctor’s reply was inaudible, but 
Herbert responded, 

“Yes, the allusion may embarrass her 
for a moment, but I am sure on the whole 
it will be a comfort.” 

Felix returned to the dining-room, and 
said kindly, 

“ Can you sit down a minute ? I want 
to tell you something.” 

She took the nearest chair, and he stood 
leaning against the mantelpiece, looking 
down at her. After a long pause he said 
abruptly, 

“ I am going to church with you to- 
morrow.” 


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‘‘You!” exclaimed Kittie; “why, I 
thought you did not believe in church.” 

“No more I did, but I have learned 
something now.” He hesitated again, 
then continued, “ It is not easy for a man 
to talk about such things, and I think it is 
specially hard for me, but I must tell you 
that what has influenced me most has been 
Herbert’s wonderful consistent life, and 
above all these last two months.” 

“ Since I came back, you mean ? ” 

“ Yes, his whole behavior in regard to 
you (I hope I am not paining you) has 
been so different from anything I could 
have done or even advised, that I became 
convinced that the Master he professed to 
serve was not merely a Leader, an Exam- 
ple followed by a few enthusiasts, but a 
Divine Being, living now, who could and 
did impart the needed strength. Such an 
‘imitation of Christ’ could not be ac- 
counted for otherwise.” 

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“No, indeed,” said Kittie thoughtfully. 
“Aspirations alone could not keep any 
one up to such a course of action. It would 
require continual inspiration.” 

“ Exactly,” replied the doctor. After a 
moment he went on. “ A few words were 
said by some one else in this connection, 
and there came a time when all the essen- 
tials seemed clear to me. I had meant to 
have had more talk with Herbert before 
taking this next step. You see I was con- 
firmed when I was a boy, so there was no 
difficulty on that score. But when I 
heard that you were going to-morrow, I 
thought I would like to be with you.” 

“ That is very good of you,” said Kittie, 
in a choked voice. Then with an effort at 
self-control she added, “Thank you very 
much for telling me this. It is a real com- 
fort to know that something good has 
come from the ruin I have wrought.” 

“Well, good-night,” the doctor said, 
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rising and holding out his hand, “ I shall 
see you to-morrow.” 

Kittie was one of the first to arrive at 
the church the following morning. She 
slipped into the seat nearest the door and 
as she knelt there she heard some one else 
enter the same pew. She looked up and 
saw that it was the doctor. She felt his 
kindness deeply, and as they went up to 
the chancel together, it seemed to her as 
if she was indeed coming home. Sylvia 
knelt on her other side, so she felt herself 
among friends, and she noted the tremu- 
lousness of her husband’s tones as he bent 
over her and spoke the words which meant 
so much to her. Her heart was very full 
and after the service she was glad that the 
doctor did not say anything, only shook 
hands, and Sylvia was too far away to 
reach her before she left the church. 

But Felix did not hurry, and as Sylvia 
reached the door, she passed him standing 
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in the shadow of an arch. She put out her 
hand to him with a smile. 

‘‘ I am so glad,” was all she could say 
and he merely answered, ‘‘thank you,” 
but he walked beside her to the gate, and 
though he only spoke a few words, prin- 
cipally inquiries for her mother and grand- 
mother, it was evident that her sympathy 
had been sought and appreciated. 

Somehow the thought made her happier 
than she had been for weeks, and though 
she did not stop to analyze her feelings, 
everything seemed bright and joyous that 
beautiful May morning. 

Kittie spent a quiet day. Herbert saw 
that she did not care to talk, and made no 
effort to draw her out. She spent the time 
of the later service on the couch by the 
open window, and followed it by means of 
the music she could hear. Lawrence came 
in and reported that the sermon was “just 
lovely ” and sang bits of the music to her, 
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only regretting that he did not know it all 
as well as he would have done if he had 
been to choir-practice. 

She saw nothing of Herbert till late in 
the afternoon he came to her room and 
found her on the sofa. 

“ Don’t move,” he said, “ I can only stay 
a minute. I wanted to be sure that this 
morning was not too much for you.” 

“ Ho, I think not. It was so natural 
and yet so strange, I had not heard the 
service all these years, and I did feel it. I 
am so glad about the doctor, it will be 
such a comfort to you.” 

“ Yes, he has been such a true friend, 
that I have felt the need of this one bond 
very much. And of course I care prin- 
cipally for his own sake. There has al- 
ways been so much that was good and 
noble about him that I felt sure that some 
day the clearer vision would come. But 
O Kittie, you can’t think what it is to me 
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to have you feel willing to come. I have 
been haunted all these years with that 
worst of all fears — that I might have driven 
you farther from good things. I never 
could say that verse in the fifty -first Psalm 
about blood-guiltiness without a shudder.^’ 
“ I will try,” Kittie said softly. “ I 
know this is only the beginning, but you 
will help me. Lawrence says you told 
him he might be an “ all round better boy ” 
than some who had never told an untruth. 
Is it possible that I can hope for some- 
thing of the same kind ? ” 

‘‘ I am sure of it,” was the grave reply ; 
‘‘you have a higher standard now than 
you ever had in your life, and I am sure 
you will be helped to live up to it. It 
will be hard work I know, but it can be 
done.” 

With a kind smile he left her, and she 
lay there thinking over the day’s events 
until it was time to prepare the tea-table. 

97 


CHAPTER YI 


That Ascension morning was not the 
last time that Felix waited at the church 
door for a few words with Sylvia, and his 
professional visits to her home always 
seemed to him sadly incomplete if he did 
not see her. She soon discovered that she 
felt disappointed if she missed his call, and 
as the days slipped by she began to realize 
that the feelings which had saddened her 
in the early spring were not what she had 
fancied them. She had imagined that a 
hard light was before her, a conflict with 
thoughts which would be sinful if indulged 
in ; and lo, her foes were but shadows, 
and instead of gaining a hard- won victory 
leaving scars that would last for life, she 
found herself in possession of the field 
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with almost no effort at all. And as the 
bright summer days passed by, she was 
able to open her heart to the new love and 
the fresh interests which offered them- 
selves to her, with hardly a thought of 
her former dream. 

The summer was of course a very try- 
ing one to the rector. He met with very 
little open opposition in the parish, for his 
dignity was such that those who disap- 
proved did not venture to express their 
sentiments to him personally. Only one 
woman made the attempt, and his reply to 
her put an end to any more remarks. 
There were many indeed, both men and 
women in the congregation who were per- 
fectly indifferent, so long as they were not 
asked to receive Kittie, but the most try- 
ing moments were those in which his well 
meaning friends felt called upon to express 
their approval of his course. There were 
two or three women in the parish who 
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considered it “ so romantic ” and gushed 
about it accordingly, and several others 
who really viewed his action in the right 
light, but had not the tact to perceive 
that the subject was a painful one. These 
had to be met cordially and answered 
courteously. The foremost was Mr. Hard- 
ing, to whose influence on the vestry Her- 
bert owed so much. It was hard to be 
asked in public how his “ poor wife ” was, 
with perhaps some word of commendation 
of his goodness to her, and yet such ad- 
vances had to be received in a kindly 
spirit, and none of the annoyance and pain 
which they caused could be allowed to 
appear in the rector’s response. Never- 
theless the ordeal was always a trying 
one, and it required more courage to meet 
the kind-hearted old man, than would have 
been needed to face a host of malcontents. 
At first the doctor was a great comfort. 
His tact was unfailing, and the new bond 
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between the friends drew them more 
closely together. Many long talks were 
held in the study, and Herbert began 
to feel that their friendship now was 
nearly as perfect as anything could be in 
this world. But as time went on Felix 
came less frequently and seemed reserved 
when they were together. In any case he 
was not the kind of man to discuss with 
even his closest friend the woman he was 
learning to love, and in addition to his 
natural disinclination to speak of a matter 
of this kind while it was still unsettled, his 
memory of the day when Herbert asked 
him to tell Mrs. Doane his sad story, made 
him shy about mentioning Sylvia’s name 
to him. So Herbert felt the difference 
without understanding it. 

Kittie too had her battles to fight. At 
first in her weakness, overwhelmed by her 
husband’s welcome and pardon, she had 
felt that the plans made for her future 
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were only too good for one so unworthy. 
But as she gained strength, she found the 
life dull and tame. Her resolutions were 
sincere, and she was determined to make 
a new beginning and do her duty uncom- 
plainingly, but there was no inspiration. 
She had been for years living a life of con- 
tinual excitement, which she missed in 
spite of herself. Her first duty was of 
course to her child, but while realizing 
how much she owed to the poor little 
creature, it was impossible to feel the pride 
and happiness which other mothers ex- 
perience, and as her love for the infant 
increased, so did her self-reproach and her 
dread of the da}^' when the little one should 
understand her position and blame her 
mother. Herbert was invariably kind to 
both mother and child. He planned for 
Kittie’s comfort in every possible way. 
The largest bedroom was refurnished for 
her ; she was regularly installed as mistress 
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of the house, and in every way his conduct 
was the outward manifestation of a for- 
giving spirit. He tried to talk pleasantly 
with her at meal-time, and made a point 
of devoting a few minutes every day to 
the baby. He was naturally very fond of 
little children, but it was with a great 
effort that he noticed little Hope. He 
meant to be a true father to her, and 
prayed daily for help to act a father’s 
part, but it was not easy at first for him 
to feel much affection for her. Still he 
persevered, and the answer to his prayers 
came, as is. so often the case, in an unex- 
pected way. About the middle of August 
she was suddenly taken ill, and for several 
days her life hung by a thread. Then 
Kittie knew how dear her child was to 
her, and what a blank life would be with- 
out her. Then Herbert realized what a 
place the little one had in his heart after 
all. It might indeed be the simplest solu- 
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tion of their difficulties and best for the 
child herself if she were taken then, and 
he never allowed himself to pray for her 
life, but a deep thankfulness filled his 
heart when she was pronounced out of 
danger, and the first time she smiled at 
him again was a memorable occasion. 

‘‘ It might have been best for her and 
for me if she had died,” Kittie said once. 
‘‘ But I can’t help being glad she is still 
here.” 

“We will try to give her a happy child- 
hood and girlhood,” Herbert answered; 
“ and if possible we will make a good, use- 
ful woman of her, so that her little world 
may be the better for her existence.” 

Sylvia and the doctor had announced 
their engagement by this time. If Her- 
bert felt a pang at the news, he did not 
show it ; his congratulations were hearty 
and frank. It was Kitty who looked sad 
and grieved over the difference between 
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their prospects and her own. For the love 
that Herbert had longed for in the early 
days of their married life, was secretly 
lavished on him, now that he could no 
longer respond to it. Poor Kittie, while 
acknowledging that his pardon and kind- 
ness were infinitely beyond her deserts, 
would have given her life for one of the 
old caresses, one of the tender words of 
endearment that she had so justly for- 
feited. Her good sense led her to hide 
this feeling. Sylvia perhaps guessed at it, 
but, Herbert never dreamed what was 
hidden under that quiet sober exterior. 
He did not know how she studied his 
comfort, how she watched him from day 
to day, and adapted herself to his habits. 
She could tell at a glance when he came 
in, whether he wished to talk or be left in 
peace ; she soon found out what subjects 
interested him, and whether he would 
rather tell her about the day’s doings, or 
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explain something to her that she had 
read in the morning paper and did not 
quite understand. Several interesting and 
important events were taking place in the 
United States and abroad, and there was 
also much to discuss just then in church 
matters. Formerly Kittie had cared for 
none of those things, but now she was 
anxious to do her share in bringing about 
the friendship that Herbert had predicted 
and on the whole she succeeded. He was 
conscious that he was more comfortable 
in many ways, that the house was more 
homelike and pleasant, and he really 
looked forward to meal-time. At first he 
only told her little matters that he thought 
would interest her, but insensibly he 
drifted into the habit of relating whatever 
interested him, and she was always ready 
to listen, and occasionally made comments 
that were really valuable. Moreover she 
wrote a very clear hand, and was able to 
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help him with his' correspondence and 
other writings. 

During the summer Lawrence was a 
great resource to her. He was old enough 
to have a general idea of her history, so 
that she did not feel any fear of the effect 
of a sudden revelation on him. On the 
other hand, he was not mature enough to 
really appreciate the heinousness of such a 
sin, and as he once told his mother, he 
could not see why people should be so 
hard on Mrs. Lincoln, when it was plain 
enough that she was “awfully sorry.” 
All the latent chivalry of the boy’s nature 
was aroused by the sight of her pale face 
and sad smiles, when he tried to cheer her, 
though he never touched upon the delicate 
subject, having a dread of anything em- 
barrassing. So his visits really gave her 
pleasure, and she mourned over the ap- 
proaching departure almost as deeply as 
his mother did. For Herbert succeeded 
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in finding a desirable school, within his 
mother’s means, supplemented by a small 
sum from the Doanes who had always 
valued his father’s services very highly. 
He left home early in September, and 
wrote very amusing letters both to Kittie 
and Herbert. 

Sylvia and Felix were married in De- 
cember, and they made efforts to brighten 
Kittie’s life a little. She was never con- 
fidential with either of them, but she felt 
that she could rely upon their friendship, 
and on the whole they managed to give 
her many pleasures. She became much 
more reserved with Herbert than she had 
been at first. She seldom spoke of herself 
and he could not tell what her state of 
mind was. He saw how faithfully she 
fulfilled all her little duties, with never a 
murmur over the dulness of her life ; and 
above all her regular attendance on the 
early service made him feel that it was 
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well with her spiritually. She shrank 
from the later services, though sometimes 
she would creep into a back seat in the 
evening; but the feeling was so natural 
that he could not blame her for it. 

Little Hope’s development was after all 
their greatest common interest. After her 
long illness Herbert found no difficulty in 
really loving her, though occasionally 
painful thoughts would come over him, 
and depress him for the moment. She 
showed the greatest affection for him, and 
would leave her mother to go to him at 
any time, which of course was very flatter- 
ing. As she grew older she was lavish of 
her caresses, and he began to feel as if 
those baby kisses were the sweetest things 
in the world. He taught her to call him 
“ father ” and enjoyed her many attempts 
at the difficult word. When she became 
old enough to care for stories, he told her 
over and over again how the good doctor 
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had brought her and her mother to the 
rectory, and they had stayed there ever 
since. He enlarged upon that statement 
from time to time, and at last there came 
the inevitable comment. 

“ Then I am not your own little girl ? ” 

“ Hot in the sense that you are mother’s 
little girl,” was the quiet answer, “but you 
belong to me, because she gave you to me, 
and she had the right to do that.” 

Hope was satisfied for the time, and ap- 
parently did not give the matter another 
thought. 

Her great fault was a quick passionate 
temper. She would be utterly overcome 
by some thwarting of her wishes and 
would express her anger by screams and 
cries. When the fit was over, she always 
was deeply penitent, and ready to promise 
amendment, but the next time her will 
was crossed would give way again. Kittie 
was generally so depressed by these out- 
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breaks that Herbert undertook the neces 
sary correction, and spared her the sight 
as much as possible. By degrees the 
child’s conscience was awakened, and she 
began to make attempts at self-control, 
and succeeded to a certain extent. 

One autumn afternoon, when she was 
nearly nine years old, she was invited to 
spend a few hours with the Johnson chil- 
dren. There were two, a boy and a girl, 
and though somewhat younger than Hope 
they were very pleasant playmates. It 
was the birthday of the older child, and 
two or three others were invited also. 
Hope was greatly excited at the prospect 
of a party, and started with great glee, 
looking very pretty in her simple white 
dress with pink ribbons. Herbert came in 
as she was leaving, and when she was 
fairly out of the house, claimed Kittie’s 
help in some very pressing work. They 
were still busy writing, when about an 
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hour later Hope came rushing in out of 
breath, her hair in disorder, and her whole 
appearance showing signs of great excite- 
ment. Both sprang up in dismay. Her- 
bert caught her in his arms and tried to 
soothe her and discover what was troub- 
ling her. The first intelligible words were 
“ that horrid boy,” the next, “ he said such 
a wicked thing.” Then came a burst of 
tears and Kittie’s heart told her that the 
hour she had dreaded had come at last. 

“ Hope,” she said calmly, ‘‘ did the boy 
say anything about me ? ” 

“ He’s a horrid, mean boy, I hate him,” 
Hope replied ; “he tells lies.” 

“ Hush, hush,” interposed Herbert, 
“you must not speak in that way. I 
think you had better go up-stairs for a lit- 
tle while. I cannot talk to you until you 
are quieter.” As he spoke, he rose with 
the child in his arms, and carried her up 
to the room which she shared with her 
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mother. He laid her gently on the couch, 
bathed her flushed face tenderly and dark- 
ened the room. Then bending down he 
kissed her, saying kindly but firmly, 

“ When you can tell me the whole story 
quietly you may come to the study. Ho, 
I am not angry with you, but I have some- 
thing to say to you.” 

He lingered a few minutes, praying in 
his heart for wisdom to meet this crisis so 
long expected, then went slowly back to the 
study. Kittie was sitting where he had 
left her, her head bowed on the table, her 
whole attitude expressing the deepest de- 
jection. He spoke as cheerfully as he 
could. 

‘‘ I left her in your room, and told her 
to come to me when she could talk calmly. 
If you will leave it to me, Kittie, I think I 
can explain all that is necessary for her to 
know. I will do my best.” 

“ If you will be so kind,” Kittie began, 
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then suddenly looking up she added, “ O 
Herbert, I know I deserve it all, but it 
does hurt.” 

The look of misery in her eyes went to 
his heart and a wave of deep feeling surged 
over him. He had long recognized her 
efforts to do right and had felt a genuine 
admiration for her. How he was con- 
scious of a stronger sentiment, and his im- 
pulse was to take her in his arms and try 
to comfort her. But as he stood, the 
width of the large writing-table was be- 
tween them, and before he could pass 
around the end of it, Martha appeared 
with the announcement that Mrs. Johnson 
would like to speak to either Mr. or Mrs. 
Lincoln. 

“I will go, Kittie,” he said, and has- 
tened to the parlor. Sylvia met him with 
deepest apologies and a long explanation. 
The other little guests had been surprised 
that morning by the arrival of an older 
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cousin from a farm two miles distant, and 
their mother had asked that he might ac- 
company them to the party. Sylvia had 
consented, though with a reluctance which 
she had thought was foolish, and felt a 
little anxious as to her powers of enter- 
taining a boy of that age. All went well 
at first, but soon a game was started in 
which Hope distinguished herself, and the 
boy proved to be very stupid. The same 
thing happened a second time; perhaps 
Hope showed too much elation at her vic- 
tory over a lad five years her senior, for 
he suddenly lost his temper and exclaimed, 

‘‘ You need not put on such airs. Miss 
Hope Lincoln. We all know that you 
have no right to your name, and your 
mother isn’t fit company for decent peo- 
ple.” 

Sylvia added, that Hope turned white 
with rage, took a step towards her tor- 
mentor, and then, pressing both hands 
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over her lips as if to keep back some 
angry words, she rushed out of the room 
and ran off before any one could stop her. 
Sylvia had followed as soon as she could 
make arrangements for the entertainment 
of the children, and was greatly relieved 
to find that Hope was safe at home. 

When she left, and Herbert returned to 
the study, Kittie was no longer there, and 
a few minutes later Hope appeared in her 
every day dress with smooth hair, evi- 
dently fresh from her mother’s hands. 

“ Come here, darling,” said Herbert ; “ I 
want you in m}^ lap.” 

She climbed up on his knee, and rested 
her head on his shoulder, drawing a long 
sigh of relief, as if she felt that her worst 
troubles were over. 

“ I have heard all about it, Hope,” he 
said presently. “Mrs. Johnson has been 
here. I am so glad that you kept your 
temper.” 


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“ I had to run away, father,” Hope said 
in reply ; “ I should have done something 
dreadful, I am sure, if I had stayed.” 

“ It was a very hard trial, I know,” he 
answered. “ I think you did very well 
considering all things.” 

A pause followed, which Herbert broke 
by remarking, 

“ If any one asked me what kind of a 
little girl we had here, I should say, a 
very good one.” 

Hope responded with a kiss. 

“And yet, dear child,” he continued, 
“you are naughty sometimes. You re- 
member that day last summer, when you 
were so very angry and struck your 
mother.” 

“Yes, father,” she said with a look of 
surprise, for never before had she been re- 
minded of a fault after it had been pun- 
ished and forgiven. 

“Well now, suppose that some stranger 
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had been there, some one who did not 
know, as I do, that you are loving and un- 
selfish and always perfectly trustworthy, 
if that person had seen you in that terrible 
passion, do you think it would be strange 
if he said ‘ Hope Lincoln must be a very 
naughty little girl ; I don’t think I will let 
my children play with her ’ ? ” 

“No, I suppose not,” Hope murmured, 
looking very downcast. 

“ I am grieving you, I know,” Herbert 
said kindly ; “ it is not pleasant to be re- 
minded of our faults, but I want to make 
it perfectly clear to you that a person may 
commit a sin, a serious one, and yet not 
be really bad. You know St. Peter was 
cowardly once and St. Paul was cruel, and 
yet they were among the best men that 
have ever lived on this earth. Do you 
understand me?” 

“ Yes, father.” 

“ Hope,” he continued after a moment’s 
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pause, “long ago, before you were born, 
your dear mother did something very 
wrong. When you are older we mean to 
tell you all about it, but there are some 
things that I cannot explain to such a 
little girl. Still, after w'hat I have just 
said, I think you can understand, not 
only that she is very sorry, but, in spite 
of that one thing, she is a true, noble 
woman.” 

“ Of course she is,” said Hope emphat- 
ically, and after a moment she added, 
“ Was it really so very bad, father ” 

“It was very wrong,” Herbert said 
firmly ; “ she would say the same thing 
to you, if you asked her, but I hope you 
will not do so. It would pain her very 
much to have you speak to her about it, 
and she has suffered so deeply already on 
that account, that I do not want her to 
have anything more to bear, if you and I 
can help it.” 


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*‘Was she put in prison ? ” asked Hope 
in an awestruck voice. 

“ Oh no, it was not the kind of thing 
that brings people to prison. Her punish- 
ment has been the sad memory, the 
knowledge that she has given me pain, 
and the unkind things that people say of 
her. Then perhaps the worst of all was 
the fear that, when you knew this, you 
would not love her.” 

“O father, did she really think so? 
Why even that time when I was so very 
naughty, I knew that of course you would 
punish me ; I even thought you might not 
kiss me for a day or two, like that other 
time you remember, but I never supposed 
you would stop loving me.” 

Herbert was too deeply moved to speak 
for a moment ; he held her close, silently 
thanking God for all the affection and 
confidence which the simple speech 
showed. At last he said, 

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“ It is possible, dear, that other people 
may say unkind things to you, or act as if 
you were in some way to blame for this 
sad thing. If it happens again will you 
bear it patiently ; come and tell me all 
about it, but keep it from mother if you 
can, and in no case ever reproach her with 
it ; will you try ? ” 

“ I will,” said Hope solemnly. 

“God bless you, dear child, and help 
you to keep that promise.” 

“ Father,” Hope said after a moment, 
“even if that boy did not really under- 
stand about mother, I don’t think it was a 
kind thing to say, do you ? ” 

“ It was not only unkind, but untrue,” 
Herbert answered. “As I have just told 
you, mother is one of God’s dear children, 
who tries always to please Him, and you 
have a perfect right to your name, for I 
gave it to you. There are some papers 
in the drawer of the desk which show 
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that you belong to me now. Mother gave 
you to me, the law gave you to me, and I 
am very sure that God gave you to me, so 
though you are not really my daughter, 
there is a sense in which I may fairly call 
you my little girl.” 

“ Just as Topsy is my kitten, I suppose.” 

Herbert suppressed a smile, for Hope 
was evidently very much in earnest. 

“Yes, something in the same way. 
Only if Topsy ran away, we might find 
another kitten that would do as well for 
you ; but if you were taken from me, I 
could not find another little girl to take 
your place, I am sure of that.” 

“ Could any one take me from you ? ” 
asked the child. 

“ Only God,” answered Herbert. 

“Oh, you mean that I might die. I 
don’t want to die, father, I’m awfully 
glad I am alive. Have I said anything 
wrong ? ” she asked as she saw an expres- 
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sion on Herbert’s face which she could not 
interpret. 

“No, dear, not at all, I was only hoping 
you would always feel so, until the time 
really comes for you to leave this world.” 

“ I am sure I shall,” was the response ; 
“ it is such a beautiful world, I am so glad 
I am in it. Don’t you feel so, father ? ” 

Herbert smiled and answered deliber- 
ately, 

“Yes, Hope, I think it is a beautiful 
world. I love this pretty place and these 
kind, good people, and most of all this dear 
little girl, and I enjoy doing the work 
God has given me. But I am also very 
thankful that when I am too old to do my 
work, and perhaps things are changed in 
the parish, and in this pleasant little home 
of ours, there is another Home waiting for 
us all and a still happier life. If we did 
not have that to look forward to, we could 
hardly enjoy these good things so much. 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


we should be so afraid that something 
would happen to take them away from us, 
but now we know that there are even 
better things in store for us.^’ 

They sat in silence, until Martha called 
them to tea. Kittie was already in the 
dining-room when they entered, and Hope 
ran up to her and threw her arms around 
her exclaiming, 

“Mother, mother, my own, own moth- 
er!” 

“ My own dear little girl,” was all Kittie 
could say, and after a few moments she 
unclasped the child’s arms and led her to 
her place at the table. 

While the meal was in progress. Dr. 
Johnson’s office boy brought in a number 
of good things from the party, and these 
reminded Hope of the fun she had missed. 
Her face grew very sober, and when supper 
was over, Herbert devoted himself to her 
amusement until her bedtime. He could 
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be the best of playfellows when he made 
the effort, and it was characteristic of his 
usual unselfishness and patience, that in 
spite of his longing for a talk with Kittie, 
he could spend an hour trying to compen- 
sate Hope for her disappointment. But 
he had learned to wait, and he felt it 
would be worth while to defer the conver- 
sation until they could fairly hope to be 
free from interruption. 

“ You will come down again, Kitty,” he 
said as at last she carried off the child ; “ I 
want to speak to you.” 

“ Yes, indeed,” Kittie said, thinking of 
the unfinished writing. 

About half an hour later she entered the 
study. Herbert was sitting at the writing- 
table looking at some small object which 
he concealed in his hand, as she approached^ 

“Shall we finish the writing?” she 
asked. 

“ Oh, no, you are too tired. Sit down a 
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little while, please. Is the sofa comfort- 
able ? Let me put a cushion behind 
you.’^ 

Something in his tone sent a thrill 
through her, though there was nothing 
unusual in his thoughtfulness. 

“ Are you willing to tell me what you 
said to Hope ? ” she asked. 

“ Presently ; I want to talk of something 
else first,” he replied, drawing up a chair 
in front of her as he spoke. “ Do you re- 
member this ? ” and he handed her a small 
picture of herself which had been taken 
when they were first married. It had 
been considered very good at the time, 
and represented a charming young girl, 
merry and bright-looking, a contrast to 
the faded, sad-faced woman who looked at 
it now. 

« Why did you show me this to-night ? ” 
she asked, and Herbert detected the re- 
proach in her tone, and saw the quivering 
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lip which told that she was unable to bear 
any more pain just then. 

“ Because,” he answered quietly, “ I 
could not wait until to-morrow to tell you 
of a discovery I have made. That was a 
very sweet girl and I loved her passion- 
ately, but I know some one who is still 
dearer and sweeter,” and bending forward, 
he took her face in both his hands and 
kissed her lips. 

“ Herbert, what do you mean ? It can’t 
be ” 

“ I mean,” he said smiling, “ that never 
in the happiest days of our married life 
did I love you better and admire you 
more than I do to-night, and I hope some 
day after all that you will be able to love 
me. I know you never did in those old 
times.” 

‘‘ O Herbert, how could I help it ? 
You are so good to me.” 

“ That is not what I want,” he replied 
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hastily. ‘‘ I don’t care for gratitude, or 
even admiration, I want real heart love. 
I can understand,” he continued as she 
gazed at him, feeling powerless to speak at 
first, “ that after all you have suffered, you 
may think that such feelings are not 
possible for you, that your heart has been 
too rudely crushed. I thought that was 
the way it was with me, but you see I was 
mistaken, and I trust you will find it so 
too.” 

‘‘ Indeed, I do love you,” she answered ; 
“ if I hesitated it was because for a 
moment I did not know how to tell you 
so. It seemed so incredible that you 
could care for one so unworthy.” 

“You know I blame myself for much 
that happened,” he said in a low voice. 

“ I know you feel so, but I can’t see it 
in that light. Even if you were some- 
times impatient and unreasonable ” 

“ O, come now, Kittie, ‘ harsh ’ and 
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^domineering’ fall far short of the re- 
ality.” 

“Well, even so. Nothing that you 
said or did could possibly justify me.” 

Herbert left his chair and seated himself 
beside her on the sofa, drawing her head 
down to his shoulder before he spoke again. 

“ Dear Kittie,” he said at last, “ I will 
not attempt to justify it, or even excuse 
it ; you have risen too high to be satisfied 
with such shallow talk ; but it is what 
you have made of yourself in these long 
years of loneliness and sorrow that appeals 
to me now. What you did years ago 
is overshadowed by what you are at this 
moment.” 

“It is very good of you to put it 
that way,” she said with tears in her 
eyes ; “ but the fact remains that after all 
I am only a poor lost creature.” 

“No, no, never say that again, dearest; 
you found long ago.” 

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“ I can’t realize it,” she said looking up 
at him with a smile ; “ do you mean that I 
may really love you, and sometimes even 
come and kiss you as any other wife might 
do?” 

“My darling, nothing could please me 
more,” he said in moved tones. 

“ I never thought I should hear you call 
me ‘ darling ’ again,” she whispered. 

For a few moments they sat in silence, 
both feeling too deeply to speak, then 
Herbert asked, 

“ How long have you felt this way ? ” 

“ You mean about you ? 0 1 can’t tell. 

At first I think my feeling for you was a 
mixture of gratitude and hero-worship. 
I could only think how much better you 
were to me than I deserved, but about the 
time of Hope’s illness, that first summer, I 
began to long for something more. I 
never expected to have it, you know, 
I saw how perfectly fair it was. I was so 
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heartless once, so careless of your feelings 
that it was only just, and I didn’t see 
how you could possibly care for me 
again.” 

“ It must have been very hard,” he said 
with a gentle caress. 

“ It was, and I used to think so often of 
what you must have suffered when you 
cared. Please let me say this,” as he tried 
to check her. “When I came back I 
asked you to forgive me, but I only 
thought of the one great fall ; now I see 
how wrong I was from beginning to end. 
I took a distorted view of everything. 
For instance I thought that because I did 
not pretend to love you, I need not regard 
your wishes at all, whereas I ought to 
have been all the more careful to consider 
you in every way, seeing that I could not 
give you the best thing of all. Then later 
I used to say that, if our little one had 
lived, I would have been good. I never 
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saw that God sent me that sorrow to draw 
me to Him. It seemed as if I needed just 
this dreadful experience of sin and shame 
to make me think. O if I could have 
borne all the punishment, but it touches 
you and Hope.” 

“Well, we need it, or it would not be 
permitted, you may be sure of that. And 
now let me say where I made my mistake. 
When you told me so frankly, the first 
time I spoke to you, that you did not love 
me, and were not interested in religious 
matters, I ought not to have married you. 
I should have found in that statement an 
indication of God’s will for me; but I 
wanted my own way, I wanted you, and 
so that day when I found you so unhappy 
over your uncle’s disapproval, I took ad- 
vantage of it, and you know the rest. I 
was so much older than you, and knew 
more of the world, I ought never to have 
put you in that position. If I had waited 
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and prayed, it might have been ordered 
for us to be happy together, or I should 
have been helped to bear the disappoint- 
ment. But as it was I took possession un- 
fairly, and thought all would turn out 
well, because I loved you. And after all, 
if there ever was an opportunity of saying 
or doing the wrong thing, I never failed 
to use it. I can remember so many stupid, 
tactless things I said, and some that were 
almost cruel.” 

“ Since I have seen more of the world,” 
Kittie said, thoughtfully, ‘‘I have often 
noticed that people who are right in prin- 
ciple so often put themselves in the wrong 
in regard to some little detail, or in the 
way they assert their rights. Now you 
were perfectly right in asking those differ- 
ent things of me, and I was utterly wrong 
in the way I treated you, but you see you 
were often unfortunate in your way of 
putting things, and I was so determined 
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to have my own way, that of course I 
made the most of any little grievance. I 
really think it is one way in which ‘ our 
spiritual enemy ’ takes advantage of us. I 
suppose those who know they are right in 
the main, are off guard, and do not think 
of those little stumbling-blocks.” 

“ That may account for it,” Herbert re- 
plied ; “ but I see that I had not learned 
my lesson so well as I supposed. It makes 
my heart ache, dearest, to think of all 
these years, and yet I meant to give you 
every comfort that I could.” 

‘‘ Please don’t reproach yourself,” she 
responded. “ I needed it all too or it 
would not have been permitted, and be- 
side, I have had so many comforts. God 
is so good, and our Blessed Lord — O Her- 
bert, I can’t tell you what He is to me. 
It is so wonderful. And to think that He 
wants us to love Him, and takes so much 
trouble to win us. I have thought of that 
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so often, for I had to try so hard to keep 
my secret from you. I felt as if my love 
was almost an insult to you, and yet He 
wanted not only my soul but my heart.” 

“ Ah, dear child, these years may have 
been hard ones, but it is plain that they 
have not been wasted ! ” 

After a short pause, Kittie continued in 
a lighter strain, 

“ I had other comforts too. It was such 
a pleasure to do things for you, and to 
know that I was really making you more 
comfortable, if I could not make you 
happy. You don’t know how cross I felt 
last week, when you brought home those 
new socks and put an end to my darning.” 

Herbert laughed merrily at this. 

‘‘ Don’t be afraid, there will be enough 
for you to do yet.” 

Just then the clock struck ten, and as 
the last note died away, Kittie remarked, 

“ It is less than an hour since I came 
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down-stairs; I noticed that it was after 
nine.” 

And the whole world is changed, isn’t 
it ? ” said Herbert. “ I assure you I never 
was so happy before.” 

“ Eeally, Herbert ? ” 

“ Yes, really and truly as the children 
say. In those old days when you seemed 
to be growing fond of me, and I fancied 
you were becoming more contented, I felt 
very happy at times ; and yet there was 
always a sense of something wanting, it 
was never quite satisfactory. Then, too, I 
found your pretty coquettish manner, and 
the uncertainty as to what you would do 
or say next, very fascinating ; but now 
that I am older, I long more for repose, 
for a sense of security. I want a wife 
who will always understand and sym- 
pathize.” 

‘‘ And do you think I can satisfy 
you ? ” 


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“Yes, indeed, dearest, I am sure you 
will 1 ’’ 

“ I used to wish so often,” she said softly, 
“ that I could die, and leave you free to 
find a wife that would suit you per- 
fectly.” 

“ Ah, but you see I have a wife who 
suits me perfectly,” he replied smiling. 

“ If so, you have made her what she is,” 
was Kittie’s answer. “ It was your good- 
ness that first made me hope that God 
would forgive me and then as I watched 
you, and began to understand you, I wanted 
to be like you as far as possible. I used to 
try to see things as you saw them, and I 
would study your favorite books, if they 
were not too deep for me. I found that 
* Christian Year ’ which you gave me when 
we were first married, and which I hardly 
looked at then, but I know it almost by 
heart now. And besides, I can see that I 
needed the training in unselfishness. I 
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used to be so fond of notice and excite- 
ment. I liked you and treated you fairly 
well, as long as you gave me unqualified 
admiration, but when you began to disap- 
prove of me, I grew bad tempered at once. 
Everything revolved around myself. I 
thought only of my friends as they affected 
me. So you see it was good for me to love 
you so hopelessly, and to feel that I must 
not call your attention to myself, but must 
do all I could for you as unobtrusively as 
possible. Loving you kept my standard 
high, and the isolation and heartache made 
me turn to God for comfort. It has been 
very hard to bear, but now that it is over, 
I see that it was not only my just punish- 
ment (I have always felt that) but it was a 
preparation for greater happiness for us 
both. I know I am not half good enough 
yet, but I do think after eight years of 
study that I know you pretty well.” 

Herbert caressed her silently, for he 
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hardly knew how to answer her. Pres- 
ently he said with a change of tone, 

“Now my sweet wife, seeing that it is 
Saturday night, and whatever you may do 
I must get up for early service.” 

“ Do you suppose I would let anything 
keep me away to-morrow f broke in 
Kittie. 

“ Probably not, but taking that into con- 
sideration, don’t you think that this meet- 
ing of our Mutual Admiration Society had 
better adjourn ? ” 

“ Sine die ? ” asked Kittie archly. 

“No indeed, only until my first breath- 
ing space to-morrow.” 

“ I will go to bed if you wish it ; but are 
you sure that I shall not wake up to-mor- 
row and find this is all a dream ? ” 

“ If you begin the day with that delu- 
sion,” she said smiling, “ I promise you it 
will not last long. I shall make it my 
business to dispel it as soon as we meet.” 

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“Very well, but — wouldn’t you like — to 
kneel down together for a moment before 
we say good-night ? ” she asked shyly. 

When they rose from their knees, he took 
her in his arms, and looking at her with 
merry, mischievous eyes, remarked, 

“ Kittie, in those old days I was often 
very peremptory. I mean to behave bet- 
ter now, but I am going to lay one com- 
mand upon you, and I expect to be obeyed. 
Now, remember, never, never again are 
you to dare to tell me that I am kind to 
you. You have said it far too often lately, 
and I do not want to hear it again. Do 
you understand ? ” 

“Yes, dear, I understand perfectly, and 
I think I can promise obedience for the fu- 
ture. And you must not grieve over the 
past. Your ‘ kindness ’ was so much more 
than I could possibly have expected, even 
though you sometimes expressed it in 
words you would never have used to a real 
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true wife. It used to hurt me, but that 
showed how well I kept my secret. And 
you never really suspected ? ” 

“No, I thought at times that you were 
afraid of me, and it troubled me. At first 
you may remember you would talk quite 
freely to me about yourself and your feel- 
ings, but you became reserved and I did 
not understand.” 

“ I was afraid in a certain way ; I did not 
want you to know. I thought it would 
certainly grieve you, and perhaps disgust 
you. And I am glad I was able to conceal 
it from you. But of course I was con- 
strained and ill at ease when I was with 
you. It shall be my last bit of acting, 
that I promise you,” and she sighed a 
little. 

“ I shall hold you to that promise, sweet- 
heart. Good-night. God bless you.” 

After she left him Herbert lingered a 
few moments putting away various articles 
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before going up-stairs. His mind was full 
of their conversation, and the surprise 
which some of Kittie’s revelations had 
been to him. It seemed almost impossible 
that she could really be the same person 
who had in the past caused him such bitter 
pain. Who could have foreseen that the 
childish, selfish young creature would be- 
come such a true, thoughtful woman ? He 
remembered her wish to die and leave him 
free, and immediately the struggle he had 
had in regard to Sylvia in that very room 
flashed across his mind. His feeling for 
her had been checked in time ; he had kept 
himself well in hand and had overcome 
any sentiment except the natural interest 
in the wife of his best friend, who was her- 
self thoroughly congenial. And now he 
saw plainly that with all her beauty, all 
her intellectual gifts, that uniformly pros- 
perous woman could never have reached 
his inmost heart as this poor repentant lov- 
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ing soul had done. He had thought that 
in that hour of conflict the last vestige of 
his youth had passed away, that though 
men older than he had loved a second 
time, such things were not for him. And 
all the time, the Master he had so faith- 
fully followed had been preparing this 
great happiness for him. Hot merely the 
wonderful spiritual joy of winning a soul 
to the higher life, which he had looked for 
as the response to his many prayers ; but 
the greatest of all earthly blessings, a lov- 
ing, sympathizing heart to be his own for- 
ever. The very peculiarity of her position, 
that social ostracism which she accepted 
so meekly as a part of her punishment, 
would but bind her more closely to him. 
He pictured a future of perfectly congenial 
companionship, and when at last he went 
to his room it was to indulge in dreams of 
the same kind. 

And when Kittie opened her door and 
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her eye fell upon her sleeping child, she 
suddenly realized that this was the day 
she had dreaded so long and said to her- 
self with a smile, 

“ After all, Herbert never told me what 
he said to Hope.” 


144 


CHAPTER YII 


It was again the eve of Ascension Hay, 
a beautiful May evening, but this time it 
was Hope who was lingering by the open 
window looking out on the soft blue sky. 
She was a tall girl of fifteen now, and 
very handsome ; of a type so different from 
Kittie that Herbert often wondered if her 
appearance did not recall bitter memories 
to the poor mother. But the subject was 
never broached between them, and indeed 
it was seldom that anything happened to 
recall the peculiarity of their circum- 
stances. 

Hope’s thoughts were grave ones, recol- 
lections of her confirmation on the pre- 
vious Sunday and anticipations of her first 
communion on the morrow. She had 
wished to take this step two years before, 
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but Herbert and Kittie were somewhat 
doubtful as to her steadiness, though her 
impulsive, emotional nature rendered her 
very susceptible to religious impressions. 
So she waited until they were satisfied 
that she fully appreciated the solemnity of 
the rite, and it was with a sense of rever- 
ence and awe as well as eagerness that she 
looked forward to the next day. A short 
time before the confirmation Herbert, who 
always tried to spare Kittie pain, had told 
her what was still a mystery to her in re- 
gard to her own history. Much of it she 
had guessed already, and what she did not 
know was of so little consequence, that it 
did not make much impression on her. 
She was not thinking of it now, as she 
gazed on the beautiful scene, but rather of 
the higher privileges which were to be 
hers. Suddenly she heard a gentle foot- 
step, and looking up, saw her mother 
smiling at her. 


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“ Were you dreaming, my girlie ? ” asked 
Kittie. 

“ No, I was thinking of this,” and Hope 
held up her “ Christian Year ” open at the 
hymn for the Holy Communion. “Did 
you feel that way the first time you 
went ? ” and she pointed to the verse, “ O 
agony of wavering thought.” 

“ I am afraid I did not the first tiijie, I 
thought very little about it; but those 
words always remind me of my first com- 
munion in this church, fifteen years ago, 
after I had stayed away for more than 
five years, I entered into it then.” 

“ That was when you came back,” Hope 
said hesitatingly, for her mother had never 
spoken of that time to her. 

“ Yes, I came here in March, but I was 
sick and weak for a long time, and only 
felt equal to going to church by Ascen- 
sion Day. My daughter,” she said with a 
sudden change of manner, “ before we 
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kneel there together to-morrow, tell me if 
you can that you have forgiven your 
mother.” 

‘‘ O mother darling, don’t speak so,” 
Hope cried ; “ no girl ever had a dearer, 
sweeter mother than you are.” 

“Ah, you do not understand it all, I 
know,” Kittie said sadly. “All I could 
possibly do for your welfare could never 
make up for the wrong I did you. But I 
should like to hear you say in so many 
words, that as far as you understand it 
you forgive me.” 

“ Dearest mother, indeed I do, even if it 
is more serious than I can appreciate now. 
I am sure I shall never feel anything but 
love and gratitude for you. If I can only 
be one half as good as you are, I shall do 
well, I am sure.” 

“ You must be a far better woman than 
I am,” Kittie answered ; “ and I hope you 
will not need to suffer as I have done.” 

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“Was it so very hard?’’ Hope asked 
shyly. 

“Indeed it was. Some day, perhaps, 
when 3^ou know what it is to love and be 
loved, you may be better able to judge 
both of the sin and the suffering that fol- 
lowed. I do not say this as complaint, my 
child ; I have deserved it all ; but you see 
how in spite of it, dear father loves me, 
and how kind two or three other people, 
whose opinion you value, are to me, so 
that I am a little afraid that you may not 
realize how very wrong it was. I want 
you to forgive me, and love me, and be- 
lieve in my repentance, but never allow 
your affection for me to lead you to think 
lightly of the sin. I do not think that 
anything could give me greater pain now, 
than to have you do so.” 

“It provokes me so,” Hope remarked, 
“ when some of these stupid, narrow 
women, who can’t possibly understand 
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your beautiful life, slight you as they 
do.” 

“ That is the smallest part of it all. I 
feel it of course, because it reminds me of 
the past, and I know it discourages father 
when he sees how little effect his teach- 
ings have upon some of his listeners. I do 
think they might speak kindly to me 
when we meet face to face, that could not 
hurt them, and would be only Christian, 
but of course I have no social position, 
that is best and right, and you must never 
resent it. You see, Hope, a great part of 
the welfare of future generations depends 
on the home life, and the relations of hus- 
bands and wives to each other and to their 
children, and if those who have disre- 
garded those sacred ties, are treated by 
the world as if nothing had happened, the 
young people who are growing up to be 
the husbands and wives and fathers and 
mothers in the near future will be careless 
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about those things. People see the wrong- 
doing,' but they cannot see the whole of 
the punishment or the repentance, so it 
seems to me that having added to the sin 
and sorrow in the world, it is only fair 
that I should acquiesce in the penalty im- 
posed by the world. I think every true 
penitent feels that. And although when 
I began my downward course, I never 
dreamed that I should sink so low, still I 
was old enough to know what I was do- 
ing. I have no real excuse, and I must 
reap what I have sown.” 

“That verse always puzzles me,” said 
Hope; “it does not seem like the New 
Testament. Why even in Isaiah we read 
about sins being blotted out like a thick 
cloud, and yet St. Paul himself, who was 
forgiven for so many things, says that 
about sowing and reaping.” 

“ I think Isaiah and St. Paul are speak- 
ing of two diiferent things,” Kittie said 
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thoughtfully. ‘‘ As regards our relations 
to God all our sins are indeed abundantly 
pardoned, there need be no constraint be- 
tween us and our Heavenly Father, if only 
we are sorry and wish to do better ; but 
in regard to this world the other saying is 
true, if we do certain things which injure 
others or cause people to lose confidence in 
us we dare not hope to escape the conse- 
quences. You have an illustration of the 
two things in the story of the Prodigal 
Son. Nothing could be more beautiful 
than the welcome which he received from 
his father ; there does not seem to have 
been the slightest cloud between them, and 
yet when the father speaks to the elder 
brother, he says, ‘ All that I have is thine.’ 
The younger son had had his birthright 
and had squandered it, and he had lost 
something which he could never have 
again. And so it is with me, while I have 
forfeited justly much of what makes this 
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world pleasant, I do not believe that you 
in your sweet innocence, or even dear 
father who lives so near to God, have a 
deeper sense of His love or more happi- 
ness in communion with Him than He so 
graciously vouchsafes to me. But of 
course I shall always have much to re- 
gret, and chiefly on your account, dear 
child.” 

“ I wish I were father’s own daughter, 
for then I might hope to inherit some of 
his characteristics,” said Hope ; “ but I do 
not think that we could love each other 
better than we do. But, mother, there is 
one thing I don’t like to think of, perhaps 
I ought not to say it to you ” 

“ I want to hear it,” Kittie answered. 
“ I want to know just what is in your 
mind.” 

“ Well it is just this. It seems as if my 
being here, being in the world at all, is a 
sort of punishment to you. I never quite 
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understood it until lately, but I have often 
heard you sigh, when you looked at me, 
and sometimes when I did not hear the 
sigh I saw it in your eyes. Mrs. Johnson 
told Mabel the other day, that no matter 
how naughty or troublesome her children 
were, she was always thankful she had 
them, they were her greatest treasures. 
Now I don’t think you feel that way 
about me. I suppose it is natural.” 

“ My precious child,” Kittie exclaimed, 
drawing her into her arms, “ I love you 
with my whole heart, and you are a 
daughter of whom any mother might be 
proud.” 

“ But you are not,” Hope said ve- 
hemently ; “ or at least you don’t enjoy 
me. You know what I mean.” 

“ Yes, I do know,” Kittie said sadly ; 
“ but I hoped you would never find it out. 
Don’t you see, darling, that I have a feel- 
ing all the time that I have not the right to 
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you that other mothers have. I feel some- 
times almost as if I had stolen you.” 

“ But dear mother, I want to belong to 
you. If I can’t be father’s real daughter 
I would indeed rather be what I am, than 
like other girls, if I had to have any one 
else for my father or mother. Please be- 
lieve it, and try to be happy. I couldn’t 
possibly love any one else as much. And 
you know, I am just as much a member of 
Christ and a child of God as any one.” 

“ Yes indeed, my child, there is no ques- 
tion about that, I am thankful to remem- 
ber. Well, I will try to take those thoughts 
to heart.” 

“ Mother,” Hope said timidly after a 
pause, and then stopped. 

“ Well, dear, don’t be afraid.” 

“ Supposing everything else had hap- 
pened in the same way, only I had never 
come to you, wouldn’t it all have been just 
as wrong ? ” 


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“ Yes, daughter,” Kittie said firmly won- 
dering what was in the girl’s mind ; “ the 
sin would have been just as great.” 

“ Then don’t you think that God knew 
how sorry you would be, and how much 
you would have to suffer, and so He sent 
me to you to be your comforter ? I am 
sure of it.” 

“Dear, dear child,” Kittie said with 
tears in her eyes ; “ perhaps He did. He 
is certainly sending me comfort through 
you to-night.” 

“ I am so glad,” Hope said. “ I have 
always been so very happy, in every other 
way, all my life, but since I understood 
things better this troubled me. Howl am 
never going to worry about it again.” 

The mother and daughter sat for some 
moments in silence, until Hope remem- 
bered that it was time for some little 
household duties. Herbert came in just 
as tea was ready, and the meal would 
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have been a silent one, but for a letter 
from Lawrence which had arrived in the 
evening mail, begging them all to come 
to New York for his ordination which 
was to be on Trinity Sunday. Herbert 
was anxious that Kittie should go and she 
half consented. 

A little later he called Hope into the 
study. 

‘‘ You had been crying before tea, dear,” 
he said. “ Is anything the matter ? ” 

“ Oh no, I had been talking with 
mother, that was all,” and the tears rose 
again. 

“ Ah,” said Herbert in a tone of compre- 
hension, “ then sit down and talk with me 
a while.” 

He drew her down beside him on the 
sofa and remarked after a few moments, 

“ I wonder if you can guess how happy 
you are making me to-night, my little 
girl.” 


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“ Am I ? How ? ” 

“ Ever since I held you in my arms 
at the font and resolved to be a father to 
you if possible, I have looked forward 
to this time with some anxiety. I do not 
mean your confirmation, but the time 
when everything should be explained to 
you. I cannot tell you how often I have 
prayed that you might be helped to take 
it rightly, and how faithfully I have tried 
to prepare your mind for it. But in spite 
of it all, I have felt doubtful occasionally. 
I have been watching you, however, since 
our talk, and I am so glad to see that 
it has made no perceptible difference 
in your feeling with regard to dear 
mother. You have taken it very sweetly, 
and I thank God with all my heart for 
her sake and most of all for your own.” 

“ Dear father, how could I help loving 
mother ? She says I don’t half understand 
what it means; but I am sure she is a 
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saint if ever there was one, and though 
my life may be harder in some ways on 
account of all this, I shall never feel 
differently about her.” 

“That is just the way I want you to 
look at it, my child. What she did a long 
time ago, wrong though it was, is not 
to be compared with what she is now. 
But I want to say something to you about 
yourself. If any trial comes to you in 
later life as a result of mother’s past, 
for which you are not in the least to 
blame, think of that sinless One who bore 
the sins of others, and try to be thankful 
that you are allowed to share His cross in 
a small way. Surely those who suffer 
such afflictions are specially near to Him. 
If you are spared to grow up and take 
your place in the world, you will have to 
have some discipline, you know ; it is part 
of the necessary training. I hope for 
mother’s sake that it may come in some 
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other way; for if her deed should bring 
you sorrow, she will suffer even more 
than you will. But in any case it will 
be all for your final good.” 

“Nothing very bad can happen to me 
while I have you and mother,” Hope said 
putting up her face for a kiss ; “ and if I 
have to live without you, I don’t think 
anything else will matter much. I know, 
dearest father, you don’t like to have me 
thank you for being good to me ; you want 
me to take it as a matter of course, 
but just this once, let me say how fully I 
appreciate it all. You have been so much 
more to me than ordinary fathers are 
to their children, I think. I am sure 
Mabel and Dr. Johnson don’t have half so 
much pleasure together as we do ; and 
when I think how faithfully you have 
taught me, and corrected me, and even 
punished me,” she added in a lower tone, 
“ I feel that I owe you more than I can 
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ever express. I won’t talk about repay- 
ing it.” 

“ It is a long time since you have been 
punished,” Herbert said smiling; ‘‘as a 
rule you have been a dear good girl.” 

“The other day during recess some of 
the girls were telling how their parents 
punished them — I don’t see how they 
could talk about it — and one girl said that 
her mother always said she did not like to 
punish her children, but for her part she 
did not believe it. She was sure she en- 
joyed doing it, and she thought most peo- 
ple did. I thought it was a horrible thing 
for her to say, and I felt so sorry for her 
if it was really true. I am sure I always 
knew that you did not like punishing me. 
Do you remember the time when you de- 
cided not to kiss me for three days, and as 
soon as they were over you came to our 
door, before I was dressed in the morning, 
and said you could not wait another min- 
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ute for your kiss ? I have never forgotten 
that. And then the only time you whipped 
me, as soon as you laid down the ruler, 
you drew my poor, sore, hot hand up 
against your cheek.” 

“I remember how bravely you choked 
down your sobs and said, ‘I know I de- 
serve it, but it does hurt.’ Mother some- 
times quotes that saying now when some- 
thing painful happens,” said Herbert, 
repeating the caress that Hope had 
spoken of. “But after all, my darling, 
your faults were only the natural ones 
of an impulsive child. You learned to 
control your temper before it became a 
very serious matter, and you have never 
given me real anxiety in any other way. 
You have been a great pleasure to me al- 
ways ; and if you are tempted at any time 
to grieve over the circumstances of your 
birth, never regret your existence. You 
have your work to do, and the best way to 
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comfort mother is for you to grow up 
a real blessing to your little world. If 
you think about it you will see what I 
mean.” 

“I do see,” she answered. “There is 
mother, I hear her step; won’t you call 
her?” 

“Come, Kittie dear, we want you,” 
Herbert said, making room for her on the 
sofa. “ Hope is dwelling on painful mem- 
ories.” 

“Well, you may laugh at me,” Hope re- 
torted. “But, when I think that I was 
actually naughty enough to strike dear 
mother, I take real comfort in remember- 
ing how that whipping did hurt.” 

Herbert certainly fulfilled her expecta- 
tions and laughed heartily, but there was 
evidently a shade of sadness in Kittie’s 
amusement. 

“I have often wondered, Hope,” she 
said a moment later, “what you would 
163 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


have been without father, or if I had car- 
ried out my original plan for you.” 

“ What was that ? ” she asked. 

“Why, when I came here, I did not 
suppose father would want me to stay, 
and I had some idea of putting you in 
some place, where you would be kindly 
treated and well-trained, but would never 
know who your mother was.” 

“0 mother, not really? I wouldn’t 
have believed that of you, if any one else 
had told me.” 

“Gently, gently,” interposed Herbert; 
“ don’t quite annihilate mother. She was 
mistaken, but she was meaning to do what 
she thought would be best for you, no mat- 
ter what it cost her.” 

“ But you see father knew best as he al- 
ways does,” Kittie said smiling ; “ and you 
must remember that I did not know him 
then as I do now. I only mentioned it as 
a cause for thankfulness for us both.” 

164 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


“ It makes me shudder to think of it,” 
Hope said. “What would I have been 
without you both ? Oh, I am so glad it all 
turned out this way.” 

A few moments passed in desultory talk, 
then Hope slipped away. 

“What a dear child she is,” Herbert 
remarked. 

“I want to tell you what she said to 
me ; ” and Kittie repeated the conversation 
that had taken place before supper. 

“ I could not help thinking,” she said in 
conclusion, “ that if she could not inherit 
any of your traits, she had certainly 
caught your spirit. But, Herbert, you 
laughed at her just now, and yet have you 
never felt that way ? I mean as if real 
physical suffering would be a relief. I am 
sure if I had been brought up a Koman 
Catholic, I should have done all sorts of 
horrible penances and found great satis- 
faction in them.” 


165 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


“Very likely, but I doubt if they would 
have been as profitable to you or as accept- 
able to God as the sweet spirit you show 
whenever you say, ‘ I deserve it, it is per- 
fectly just.’ I can’t tell you how I love 
my brave little wife when she takes up her 
cross so uncomplainingly,” and he looked 
at her with the tender pitying smile w’hich 
always accompanied his rare allusions to 
the past. 

“But, Herbert, have I any right to 
think of it all as a cross f Is it not only a 
rod f It is so plainly the result of my sin.” 

“ Why, my darling, if we may only look 
to the Cross for comfort, when our suffer- 
ings are undeserved, where would any of 
us be ? As a rule I do not like to look at 
the trials of this life as punishments. I 
don’t think God deals with us according 
to our deserts but rather according to our 
needs. And we cannot tell what we or 
others really need, and therefore should 
166 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


not question His dealings with us. I 
know there is not always the same con- 
nection between the wrong-doing and the 
sorrows as there is in our case, but very 
few could say that their sufferings were 
out of proportion to their sins, if they 
really appreciated what sin was. The 
reason why so many complain is, that they 
compare their lot with that of other 
people, and do not see why they should 
not have this or that, when they consider 
themselves just as good as some one else 
who has those things. But if they would 
put all thought of others out of the ques- 
tion, and only ask themselves what right 
they had to expect more than God had 
given them, they would seldom dare to 
feel injured.” 

“ Of course,” Kittie replied. “ For after 
all none of us deserve heaven, and when 
that is given to us freely, we ought to be 
so thankful for the many blessings, which 
167 


Vntil Seventy Times Seven 


we all have in this life that we would not 
dare to complain of the trials or depriva- 
tions. But I can see that to many it 
would seem a hard saying.” 

“ And with regard to yourself, dearest, 
I do think that viewed as punishment, 
your trials are rather out of proportion to 
your fault. All this exclusion from social 
life, this difference from other people, which 
is very hard, I know, is necessary, not be- 
cause you are not good enough to mingle 
with the world, but because the world is 
not good enough to understand the situ- 
ation. If all who call themselves Chris- 
tians were what they ought to be, you 
would be appreciated and welcomed by 
them just as God has welcomed you. Not 
so soon, of course, but surely by this time. 
It is because the world, even the Christian 
world as a rule, does not seem to be able 
to understand real repentance and amend- 
ment ; that people think they are encour- 
168 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


aging wrong-doing by treating the penitent 
as if nothing had happened. I am afraid 
it must be so for a long time yet, we are 
all so unlike our Master.” 

“ But how are people to know that the 
repentance is genuine? You know how 
much I care, but others do not.” 

“ Yes, that is just the trouble. I do not 
see how it can well be otherwise. To re- 
store those who were not really contrite 
would be very disastrous to society at 
large, and it is so easy to be deceived in 
such things. I have often thought, Kittie, 
that if you had joined the Salvation Army, 
or gone in for some kind of rescue work, in 
which you could have posed as an interest- 
ing penitent, you would have had a great 
deal of notice and approval of a certain 
kind; but you came back here, and went 
bravely to work to make what reparation 
you could in a quiet way. You took up a 
wife’s duties and cares, without asking for a 
169 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


wife’s privileges ; you were a faithful, lov- 
ing mother, although you missed much of 
a mother’s joy, and in every way you did 
your little tasks conscientiously and perse- 
veringly. Yet the world does not see 
that, and does not give you the credit 
you really deserve. Though, after all, 
dearest, I suppose the hardest part of the 
penalty is in your own heart.” 

“Yes, indeed,” Kittie answered; “the 
fact that it is all my own fault does not 
make it any easier. If I were unjustly 
suspected even by you, I should at least 
have the hope that it would be cleared up 
some time, beside the consciousness of in- 
nocence which I suppose would be a com- 
fort. When people say I have only my- 
self to thank for it, they don’t realize that 
that is the worst thought of all. Once in 
a while, when I was so far astray, I used 
to think, ‘ this can’t last forever, I shall 
have a terrible reckoning to pay some 
lYO 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


day,’ but I never guessed what it would 
be. Sometimes a vision would come be- 
fore me of myself deserted and alone and 
probably sinking lower and lower, perhaps 
even ending it all in the river, but I never 
dreamed that the greatest pain would come 
through my love to you. I don’t mean 
just those years when I loved you without 
return, though they were hard enough, 
but so often now when you are most lov- 
ing, when we are talking together most 
freely and I feel intensely happy, some 
little word will remind me of it all, and 
there comes such a terrible revulsion of 
feeling, you can’t imagine how distressing 
it is. And the memory of what you must 

have suffered through me ” She 

broke off unable to continue. 

“Don’t think of that, dear,” he said, 
tenderly ; “ it is over now, and I have 
learned lessons which I trust will last me 
all my life.” 


171 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


“I know I have a great deal to be 
thankful for. When I think of what hap- 
pens to some poor creatures, I feel as if it 
was wrong for me even to say, ‘it does 
hurt.’ ” 

“Probably you suffer more than they 
do. I would gladly shield you from every 
pang ; and yet, when these things do hap- 
pen, it seems as if it would be far sadder 
if you did not feel them. It goes to my 
heart to see you keep back your tears and 
accept the humiliation so sweetly, but I 
can’t tell you how it would pain me if you 
shrugged your shoulders and said, ‘ I don’t 
care.’ But you would not be what you 
are if you could do that. Do you under- 
stand ? ” 

“ Yes, not feeling it would certainly be 
far worse. I see what you mean. And 
you really think all the hard things in life 
are crosses ? ” 

“ If we are bearing them bravely, and as 
172 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


Christians should. That is the point it 
seems to me. Trouble and sorrow are the 
lot of all in this world, but to the Christian 
they are part of the Cross, the fellowship 
in His sufferings. And in any case, dear, 
whether your trials are your cross or your 
rod, I am sure they will ‘ prove in heaven 
the martyr’s palm.’ Those lines always 
make me think of you.” 

“ I know your ‘ daily strife ’ is an ‘ angel’s 
theme,’ ” Kittie said with a caress. “ You 
have done all this so sweetly and lovingly, 
and taken the troubles and mortifications 
as a matter of course. I often wonder if 
there is another man in the world who 
would have behaved as you did, and yet 
if I say so to you, you always answer as 
if it was the only way you could have 
acted.” 

“ And so it was. Why, Kittie, if you 
had any idea of the terrible suffering I ex- 
perienced from the fear that I had alien- 
173 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


ated you from all that was good, if you 
could have heard some of my prayers, that 
your heart might turn to God and your 
life be given to His service, you would see 
how impossible it was for me to do other- 
wise than try to live up to those prayers 
when the opportunity came.” 

“ I like to feel that I was guided to come 
back to you,” Kittie said after a pause. 
“ I was so childish and ignorant. If I had 
had more knowledge of such things, I 
would have communicated with you 
through a lawyer, but I had an idea 
that I must make a personal confession. 
And I am sure that if I had not been 
brought into this house as I was, I should 
never have been willing to come. I knew 
too well what I deserved, and I never 
could have believed that you would for- 
give so utterly. But you see as it all came 
about, you had a chance to prove it to me, 
and when the time came for a decision I 
174 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


was not afraid to stay. But still, it must 
have been very hard for you sometimes. 
Did you never regret it ? ” 

“ I did at times think it might have been 
easier if we had lived apart, but I gener- 
ally felt sure I was doing right. Nothing 
could alter the fact, you see, that I had 
promised to love and cherish you as long 
as we both lived. I think that even if I 
had no reason to reproach myself, I should 
have felt bound by those vows, when you 
came to me as you did. But it is hardly 
worth while to discuss all that now. We 
both did wrong and suffered for it, and 
now God has given us a greater happiness 
than we had before. If I had made other 
arrangements for you, as you expected, 
you might have found as much help and 
comfort from some one else, and it might 
have been as well with you spiritually, but 
we should not be what we are to each 
other to-day. Even in those early days. 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


when I was so ardently in love, I never 
imagined such perfect confidence and sym- 
pathy as there is between us at present.” 

“ I believe firmly that it is all God’s good 
gift,” Kittie remarked with a smile. “ I 
never feel that either Hope or I have won 
your love. You undertook a very hard 
task, one which few men would have 
thought of for an instant. At first, I am 
sure it must have been daily, hourly tor- 
ture, but you persevered, and God in His 
mercy made it easier for you, by giving 
you a real spontaneous affection for Hope, 
so that in spite of everything you found 
real pleasure and happiness in her. For 
dear and sweet as she is, some men in your 
position would never have been able to 
forget what she represented, and doing for 
her would have required a great deal of 
effort, whereas you really found comfort 
in it.” 

“ Indeed I did, dear little girl ! As she 
176 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


said to-night, few fathers and daughters 
have as much pleasure together as we do.” 

“ And yet under the circumstances that 
was hardly natural. Surely there was a 
higher Power ruling your heart. And 
then as you went on faithfully and pa- 
tiently bearing your burden, and I tried 
honestly to do right, though I found it 
very hard too, it was suddenly made so 
much easier for us both. Of course, as I 
said a moment ago, there will always be 
many sad things for me to bear, some 
fragments of the punishment must last all 
my life, and hurt you too, but there is so 
much to be thankful for, I can’t be un- 
happy all the time. It is so beautiful to 
be forgiven. There will always be a spot 
in my heart which is sore to the touch, 
but while God and you and Hope have so 
fully pardoned me, it really does not seem 
as if it ought to ache incessantly.” 

“ Ho, indeed, I am sure of that. God 
177 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


wants us to be happy, you know, and it 
would be ungrateful of you to brood over 
the past so that you forgot the mercies of 
the present. You would not treat me so.” 

“ I have felt for a long time that God 
had forgiven me the sin against Him, and 
now it seems as if so many consequences 
that I thought I could not escape are being 
spared me. I have so dreaded this time 
when Hope should know everything, and 
not only has it made no difference in her 
affection for me, but she gave me so much 
comfort. That thought that God foresaw 
everything and sent her to me was one I 
should never have dared to entertain, even 
if you had suggested it ; but coming from 
her, I can’t help feeling as if it was a mes- 
sage from Heaven.” 

“I am very thankful,” Herbert an- 
swered. “ I have realized to a certain ex- 
tent how you must feel about her, and I 
did not quite see how to help you, but she 
178 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


has solved the problem herself, and un- 
doubtedly it will have more weight com- 
ing from her. I know you have loved her 
most devotedly and unselfishly, but, as she 
said, you have not been able to find the 
same pleasure that you might have had in 
such a dear good daughter under other 
circumstances. From this time on you 
must take her view of it, and be happy.” 

“ When she was a very small baby,” 
Kittie said softly, “ I used to look at her 
and think how I could love her if things 
were different, but I felt as if I had no 
right to. Then when you first talked to 
me about her, you said I owed her a double 
portion of love and care, and that put it in 
a new light ; so I never checked myself in 
loving or petting her after that. But of 
course there was always the sense of hav- 
ing wronged her, and the fear of her re- 
proaches when she knew the truth, beside 
the feeling that I had no right to have 


Until Seventy Times Seven 


her. If she were to die, I think it would 
almost break my heart, and yet I cannot 
take real delight in her, as Sylvia does in 
her children. It is part of my punishment, 
I know, and what she said has made it 
much easier for me. But after all, dear, I 
owe it all to you. You have made her 
what she is and have taught her to think 
of me in this sweet way. I can imagine 
the pitying affection she might have had 
for me in return for my love, if we had 
been alone together, but all this is I am 
sure the result of your teaching and your 
prayers.” 

‘‘And example, I fancy most of all,” 
Herbert replied, drawing her closer to 
him; “for she knows in a small degree 
what I think of you. I am fully per- 
suaded, you know, that the world does not 
contain a sweeter, truer, nobler woman, or 
one that is more to her husband, than my 
precious wife.” 


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